SIR -- There was a ring on the doorbell a couple of days before Christmas.

On opening it, I found three lads from the village standing there. They proceeded to chant "We wish you a Merry Christmas, etc."

"Hold on," I said. "Isn't it usual to sing a carol before you ring, or at least manage a couple of verses once the door is open?"

"Not these days," said the smallest (I know he is eight, I remember him being born). "Anyhow, you probably know all the words without us having to sing 'em."

Nonplussed, I gave them a quid for their cheek.

PETER UNSWORTH

Chipping Warden