I HAVE just heard that today, Oxford City Council planners will approve plans put in by Oxford Brookes University, for a new teaching block – smack in the middle of Frideswide Square.

This new state-of-the-art building will offer its visitors courses never before dreamed of. Students will be able to learn how best to catapult themselves off Magdalen Bridge on May Morning, while pulling faces at the police.

They will be taught how to eat a Big Mac in Cornmarket Street without dropping any of it on the pavement. And, best of all, a whole floor of the building will be dedicated to fashion — students learning how to get the best looks from those Oxfam clothes.

After the plans are approved, there will be a big party on board three Oxford Brookes buses.

Of course, there is a very tiny possibility that this whole thing could be just a foolish joke.

CHRIS BOSWELL Williamson Way Rose Hill Oxford