As birthdays go, BEN McKECHNIE’S 23rd at the Cellar’s indie night – Kapow! – was one to remember...

It was my 23rd birthday so I pestered my friends into taking me to Chiang Mai Kitchen.

Here we made the typical schoolboy/girl error that nearly everyone makes on their birthday. We gorged on amazing food until there was no room left for beer, and we were all far too bloated and heavy to go clubbing – but I rallied the troops and told them I'd be disappointed if anyone snuck home to bed on my big day.

The guilt trip worked and we headed to the new indie night at the Cellar – KAPOW!. Kapow! packed a punch that Batman would be proud of.

There's fantabulous music to dance to, which, after the food went down, was exactly what I felt like doing on my birthday.

We picked up some acceptably priced drinks and hit the dance floor.

BOOM!

One thing that you will notice is that a gimmick of the night is you're handed free penny sweets and lollipops. It's okay to accept them (you’re over 18 and you can vote).

It was especially thoughtful as I had been unable to afford pudding at the restaurant, although my extra pudding-tummy had told me it desperately wanted to be filled with sugary treats. So I had a lot of the free handouts until I was satisfied.

It was at this point that I looked at one of my friends from a certain angle, and realised that the right side of his face appeared to have half-inflated like some kind of weird, freakish balloon! Why had I not noticed this before?!

'Aha!' I thought, he must be tucking away free penny sweets in his hamster-like cheek pouches for later on. I drunkenly decided to confirm my theory by poking him – really hard – in this new 'confectionary sac'.

KER-SPLAT!

Unfortunately it turned out that he had a tooth infection and was in great pain (even more so after the damn good prodding I gave him).

I simply hadn't noticed earlier on in the night because of where I was sitting at the table, and no-one had cared to tell me to save hurting his feelings by bringing up the subject of his ‘enlarged’ face at the dinner table.

I don't know if any of you know your Theme Hospital (Computer game 1997) but the official medical term for this condition is 'Bloaty Head'. So, back to the club night.

KAPOW! fulfilled my birthday needs, but I could see people both five years younger than me AND five years older having a great time. It was busy, fun and had a real buzz about it. Another triumph for the Cellar!

We drank, we danced, we conquered – and on the way out I tripped and smacked my face on the concrete outside.

BAM! Now that was onomatopoeia...