Well after having my 31 week check up i was quite pleased and relieved that Squidge was ok and i had nothing to worry about.

I headed over to my best mates house where we decided on take away to celebrate. It had been a very emotional day so didn't stay long and went home to have a nice soak in the bath using all my lovely products that i had been given on my birthday Every was fine. Till i got out the bath! I was bleeding!

I have never been more scared in my life!! maybe i had scratched myself when getting out the bath and didn't realize? So i checked? No this was not a scratch!

I shouted for my mum to come up and told her the worrying news and i could see on her face that she was scared too. She went down stairs and rang the John Radcliffe who said to bring me straight in As i was getting dressed i was all over the place! I could not stop crying. I kept saying “i am not going to lose this baby now” i couldn't! This was my little squidge, my baby that i had wanted for so long!

We got in the car and mum and dad kept reassuring me that everything would be fine and that we would be home again within an hour. I started to calm down a little in the car as it was not good for the baby if i was in a state but all i kept thinking was what if i lose it, i don't think i would cope!

We arrived at the hospital and i got taken into a delivery suite. I had calmed right down now, i was in the best place now if anything was going to happen and the bleeding had almost stopped. I was put on a monitor so that the midwife could see what the baby's heartbeat was like and if i was having contractions (which is wasn't thank god). I was kept on this for about half hour and everything seemed ok and squidge started moving around so i knew my baby was still alive. After a while a doctor came to examine me to check to see if my cervix wall was ok? They asked loads of questions like if i had sex or had i been in any pain? But i hadn't? All i had done was relax after being stressed out.

Another hour and a half had gone by. It was getting late and we were all tired. At about 11.30 the midwife came in and said that because i had been bleeding and there was a small clot that they wanted to keep me in!! i burst in to tears again. Why? I felt fine now and baby Squidge was moving and the bleeding had stopped? Was there something they weren't telling me?

The midwife left the room to arrange for my bed for the night. I had nothing with me! No nightdress, no money, no phone, nothing!!

I said goodbye to mum and dad and got taken up to level 5 which was the maternity ward. It was all so quiet which really shocked me as i thought i was going to be up all night with crying babies. The midwife gave me a jug of water, a gown and a small bag which had a few toiletries in. I felt so alone! I tried to get some rest but everything was playing in my mind and so i just lied there rubbing my belly and praying that everything was going to be ok.

At about 12.30 a nurse came in and gave me a snack bag. I was really impressed but couldn't eat anything as i was still in shock. She got me some gaviscon and i tried to settle down again. All night i was tossing and turning! Wondering what was going to happen in the morning. I think i managed to get a few hours before getting woken up asking if they could take my blood pressure.

The next morning so much went on i was shocked at how quick time went.

7.0a midwife came to talk to me and asked if felt ok and said that the doctors would be coming around about nine 8.00 breakfast was served. We had corn flakes and coffee.

8.30 a nurse came round with a card that we had to fill in for lunch and dinner ( i still had my snack bag and i was hoping i wasn't going to be here for dinner!!) 9.15 the doctor came round and asked a lot more questions 9.30 i was put on a monitor again to check Squidge's heart beat – it seemed a lot calmer today but then it normally is in the morning rather than at night 10.00 midwife came to check on me again 10.30 a consultant came with some medical students and asked a few more questions. He was really nice and friendly. He had reassured me that these things happen and because there was no blood any more or pains that i may be allowed to go home soon. He wanted me to have a scan just to be on the safe side though as my placenta may have been low.

11.30 went down to have my scan. I felt so tired and looked rough. All these woman were coming in all happy and with partners and i was sat on my own, still wearing clothes from last night and just wishing it was all going to be ok 11.50 i saw my not so little Squidge!! wow haven't you grown i thought! It was lovely to see the heart beating ok and i got some more photos. She did some measurements and had a look at the placenta and told me i had nothing to worry about. THANK YOU!!

At 12.15 the midwife came to see me and told me everything was fine and that i was ok to go home! Mum came to pick me up (after i had my lunch obviously) and i sat and relaxed for the rest of the day.

The following week i went to see the consultant again. He checked my blood pressure etc again and that was fine but i had blood in my urine. He said it was nothing to worry about but that i had to go back to my midwife this week to check it again. If it comes back that there is still blood then i will have to have antibiotics as i may have a small infection Since that night nothing else has happened. Squidge has been moving around loads and i have had no more bleeding. I am being checked on now every 2 weeks which is a big relief as at least i know i am being looked after Toiletries bag is packed, brought everything i need now so going to pack a bag soon just in case anything like that happens again or if Squidge suddenly decides to make an early appearance!! i will be ready!