Spring has sprung, trees are blossoming, flowers are budding, love is in the air and it's duck rape season.
Now whilst I am not universally acknowledged as the foremost authority in the world on the behaviour of ducks, I have carried out my own intensive investigation into their behavioural traits. Well, I walk along a bit of the Thames towpath in the morning and evening, anyway, which must amount to the same sort of thing.
Still, normally, ducks seem to have rather a nice sort of life. As far as I can see, they sleep on the banks of the river, and occasionally go for a bit of a paddle, beak about in the water some, make up duck couples and generally rub along together reasonably well. Flying seems generally out of the question, as rather too much of an effort.
Apart from at this time of year, when they go bonkers, whizzing about all over the place. At least, to use the appropriate scientific name for male-gendered birds, the men ducks do. I do rather feel sorry for the lady ducks, as they seem to get chased all over the place with the blokes not making much, as far as I can tell, attempt to woo their female of choice.
Which does rather make one wonder, how much duck sex is consensual? I don't suppose they both go out a for a few evenings, see if they are compatible, take things steadily and see how things go. It does rather seem to be the case that the duck that gets the first rape in gets the girl, so to speak. Which makes one wonder how far it is compatible to extrapolate from animal behaviour to our own.
I once read, for instance, that because frogs, or some other similar creature, exhibited signs of homosexual behaviour it meant that such behaviour must in fact be 'natural'. Which kind of brings us back to the ducks. But then again, maybe it's best not to start to speculate along these lines at all ...