It doesn't take an awful lot to get me tipsy. You would think that, after all these years of endless wine tasting, I would have developed an above-average tolerance. Sadly, it just isn't the case.

I blame my mother. The woman can't take a spoonful of Benylin more than five yards from her bed, such is the immediacy and strength of the effect it has on her. Her shockingly low tolerance of alcohol is well-known and so we pour frugally and keep our eyes peeled for the slightest flush of pink appearing on her cheeks.

Not for mum then is the recently-launched WineRack'. This utterly crass invention is a ladies bra that contains a figure-enhancing polyurethane bladder that can be filled with any wine (or indeed any other drink) of your choosing. The manufacturer boasts an attached drinking tube that allows the wearer to have a sneaky drink whenever and wherever they please.

Of all the ideas, inventions and crazy bits of PR I have come across, this has to be the absolute worst.

I spoke to someone this week that actually thought it was a good idea; an ideal gift for Mother's Day' he (there's a surprise!) proffered. I thought the wine glass, large enough to hold the entire contents of a full-sized bottle was abhorrent enough but this plunges new depths.

It seems that this is my opportunity to promote some altogether classier gifts for mothers everywhere this Sunday.

First things first. Wine is not exclusively a gift for men. For some odd reason, in my entire wine-selling career, I didn't speak to one man buying wine for his partner. It was always the other way round. I mulled over the possibility that women don't want wine as a present. I've just done a quick SMS survey to clarify.

I asked a handful of mothers which, of the following three, they would be happiest to receive this Mothering Sunday: (a) Chocolates (b) Flowers (c) Wine?

Perhaps it's the company I keep, but only two wanted chocolates and the rest voted enthusiastically for wine. (Men take note: flowers are clearly passé, with Valentine's behind us).

Enjoying my little bit of market research, I decided to delve a little deeper. What kind of wine would they actually like?

Sparklers rate highly. The ladies like their bubbles because it makes them feel indulged. It seems like it's one of the few drinks they feel they can enjoy a glass of before midday without feeling too guilty. Not a bad thing, if the plan is to lounge round in your dressing gown and slippers for the rest of the day.

It might well be the unseasonably bright weather that we had this month but all things pink are high on the wish-list. I know that rosés are selling well these days but I have just made an unexpected discovery when it comes to explaining their recent upsurge in popularity.

Women like them because hubby tends to drink less; preferring the more manly reds instead. In short, the women don't have to share as much.

In fact, all things considered, it seems to me that a bottle - or two - of wine is the way forward this Sunday. So, with everyone else's mother sorted all I have to do is find something more suitable for mine. Anyone have the number for Interflora?

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