Bishop apologises after 'horror movie' grave mix-up at funeral

Dee Anderson had arranged for her mum to be buried in the same plot as her dad, but when the family arrived at the church they were horrified to discover the hole had been dug in someone else's grave.

They not only had to tell the vicar about the mistake themselves, but then had to wait in the pouring rain for nearly 45 minutes and watch while a new grave was dug.

Mrs Anderson was so upset by the incident she wrote to the Archbishop of Canterbury and even the Queen of England to raise her concern.

Read also: PC Harper's killers' sentences will be reconsidered

Mrs Anderson said: "I was robbed of the chance to properly say goodbye to my mother by the church.

"This is the worst day in most people's lives – burying a parent, child or loved one – and the church could not have made it any worse if they tried.

"The people we are supposed to believe above all are caring, respectful and benevolent. I now have to live with never being able to get a proper goodbye."

Mrs Anderson's mum Patricia. Picture supplied by family.

Mrs Anderson is mum to Leigh and a full-time carer for her disabled daughter Cara and her husband Michael.

For generations Mrs Anderson’s family have been christened and buried at St Helen’s Church in Benson, near Wallingford.

On June 1, Mrs Anderson’s mother Patricia Field died aged 82, and the family planned for her to be buried with her late husband Edward Field who died in 1984 and was buried at St Helen’s.

Read also: Woman rescued by police officer after getting stuck in river

However, when the family arrived at the church for the funeral they were stunned by what they discovered.

Mrs Anderson said: "We arrive at the gate of the graveyard, ready to bury my mother in the joint grave my father was buried in years earlier, and my heart stops.

"I see possibly the worst thing you can witness, and something you only imagen happens in movies.

"The wrong grave has been dug up.

"They are about to bury my beloved mother on top of a complete stranger, another woman."

Mrs Anderson immediately raised the alarm with the vicar, but said she was stunned again when the vicar told the family he had been confident that he identified the right grave.

She said: "We had to spend at least 20 minutes with him telling us we were wrong – that we didn't know where our father was buried.

"For 36 years I have been putting flowers on this grave, I know which is my dad’s grave.

"Then the undertaker managed to uncover the plaque from the grave dug in error and confirmed it was not my father's."

Read also: Latest court results for Oxfordshire

She said it transpired that the vicar had errors in his maps of the graveyard, and then asked the gravedigger to dig a new grave in the correct plot.

Mrs Anderson said she and the family then waited in the rain for nearly 45 minutes while the new hole was dug.

She said: "I could not even shed a tear because I was so angry.

"It must have been three weeks until I got a good night’s sleep, it was like a horror film.

"There was absolutely no remorse, attempt to minimise distress, or right the wrongs the church caused."

Dee Anderson, her daughter Cara, her husband Michael and her sister Carolyn Bolton at Mrs Anderson's parents' grave. Picture: Ed Nix

In her anger, the mum-of-two wrote to the Archbishop of Canterbury, the Queen and the Diocese of Oxford – the branch of the Church of England which looks after most of Oxfordshire.

The Church sent Reverend David Tyler, the Canon of Dorchester Abbey, to investigate at St Helen's to see why the mistake happened.

Now the Diocese and the Bishop of Oxford have apologised to the family for the distressed caused and said it was a matter of human error.

In a statement the Diocese said: "The Diocese of Oxford deeply regrets any incident which causes further distress to a person or family during a funeral.

"It is a difficult and upsetting time for everyone.

"Bishop Steven Croft has written to the family concerning the confusion over the place where Patricia Field’s grave was to be located.

"There was a short delay while the correct position was found, and the grave created. We acknowledge that human error led to further distress at a very sad time for which we fully apologise."

Mrs Anderson believes the problem arose because there was no headstone and she would now like the church to help contribute towards a headstone for her parents’ grave.