By Nick Wilson, Abingdon-based Army veteran, co-founder of Oxfordshire’s 360Wellbeing and mental health speaker

WE are now building up to the Festive season, a time of festivities, celebration, families coming together with love and laughter, a time when there is a sense of peace around the world and ‘goodwill to all men’. Enjoying the lights and decorations on trees, houses and in towns, seeing excitement build in the faces of children young and old.

There has long been a debate of whether society has forgotten the true meaning of Christmas, where it has become commercialised, all about the size, cost, number and quality of gifts given, rather than the true meaning at the very heart of what Christmas is meant to symbolise.

Whether you are religious and celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ or, like me, see it as a time to promote peace, provide forgiveness and for families to forget their squabbles and come together to celebrate their love for one another.

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Christmas is certainly a joyous time, whatever your reason for getting excited and joining in with the festivities, there is no disguising the fact that it promotes a powerful sense of positivity and can unite people of all faiths, beliefs, culture and social background, to the point whereby it empowers individuals to stop fighting their wars, if but for a short time.

That being said, the festive season can also bring increased levels of stress and anxiety, which could lead to depression in some, due to reasons such as;

  • The ‘To Do’ list – There are more jobs on the list, in addition to your every-day tasks
  • Comparisons – To friends and family and the seemingly 'perfect' lives of others on social media
  • Finances – Costs of presents, food, social drinks, travelling to visit others
  • Christmas shopping – Enough said!
  • Family – Visiting family members we don’t get on with, having them for the day or to stay over
  • Reflection – As New Year approaches, the ‘Should of, Could of, Would of’ thinking begins
  • Isolation – Not just about being physically alone, but also, not feeling connected to those around you
  • What’s Missing – Criticising your life, relationships, money, house, career - could life be better?

These are the more ‘typical’ festive stressors that the majority of society experience in some form over the festive period, with some of the stressors being accepted as a ‘given’ at this time of year.

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Unfortunately for many, there can be a much darker side to this time of year, when Festive Stress begins to impact negatively on key components of your life, such as relationships, finances, career and your overall wellbeing.

Some measures you can take to cope with festive stress include:

  • Make plans in advance, so you know how and with whom your holidays will be spent. Uncertainty and putting off decision-making add enormous stress.
  • Shop early and allow time to wrap and mail packages to avoid the shopping crunch.
  • Ask for help from your family and children. Women tend to think they have to do everything, when a team effort can be more fun.
  • Don’t buy things you can’t afford. Shame prevents people from being open about gift-giving when they can’t afford it. Instead of struggling to buy a gift, let your loved ones know how much you care and would like to, but can’t afford it. That intimate moment will relieve your stress and nourish you both.
  • Don’t allow perfectionism to wear you down. Remember it’s being together and goodwill that matters.
  • Make time to rest and rejuvenate even amidst the pressure of getting things done. This will give you more energy.
  • Spend time alone to reflect and grieve, if necessary. Pushing down feelings leads to depression. Let yourself feel. Then do something nice for yourself and socialize.
  • Don’t isolate. Reach out to others who also may be lonely. If you don’t have someone to be with, volunteer to help those in need. It can be very uplifting and gratifying.

The winter blues are very common, with many of us experiencing a mood shift during the colder, darker days of winter. Although you may find yourself feeling more lethargic, gloomy and down than usual, the winter blues generally doesn’t impede your ability to enjoy life and make the most of Christmas.

Lastly, and most importantly, whatever your reason for celebrating this festive season, enjoy Christmas and live in the moment, try not to worry about past or future as you cannot do anything about it, so enjoy the here and now. Check in on ageing neighbours, friends and family you won’t be seeing over the festive period, don’t believe social media, but drop them a message or give them a call, ask how they are really doing, it can make a huge difference.

The Samaritans helpline – 116 123 is open 24/7 over Christmas, as is Combat Stress –  0800 138 1619 should you or anyone you know need someone to talk to in confidence.