1. The expectation of volume and variety: Women are under constant scrutiny, and so are their outfits. A man wears the same suit everyday for a week and no one bats an eyelid. But a woman wears a statement blazer twice in a fortnight? That’s a big no no.
  2. And the expectation to have more and wear more means we also end up paying more, getting less value for money in the long run because we don’t even end up wearing things on a frequent basis.
  3. However, if you want to update your wardrobe, purely because it’s your fundamental right to do so, remember that fashion is ‘frivolous’ – a waste of time and money. But apparently football and video games aren’t.
  4. Shoes: always two at a time. Do you have a meeting? A lunch date? An evening event? A customer-facing role? Better make sure you come equipped with heels. That probably hurt your feet, because otherwise you clearly don’t care about personal presentation. Oh you need to walk to work? Flats are fine so long as you’re out of sight. Just make sure you change your shoes round the corner.
  5. Which means having a heavier handbag. Because a woman who ‘looks after herself’ must have with her, at all times, the following: A make-up bag, a hair-brush, spare stockings, lip balm, hand cream, the aforementioned flats/heels and a canister of miniature hair spray (optional if you’re blessed with fuss-free hair). Combined weight: 4-5 pounds, in addition to the standard folders, laptops, diaries, phones and keys. And guys think they’re into weight lifting.
  6. The morning routine: There are three kinds of women when it comes to morning grooming: The ones who care, the ones who don’t and the ones who don’t have to. Most of us fall into the first category, which means it takes longer to get ready in the morning. Fact. Ok, you get the odd metrosexual who’s open to preening, but a bit of hair gel and moisturiser and they’re done. It takes a bit more time to shave legs, do make up and pin up skirt hems. So we get up earlier – which means we’re getting less sleep too!
  7. And why do women go to all this trouble? Because, for some inexplicable reason, they will always be judged on appearances. A plethora of awful ties in parliament? No comment. A pair of leopard-print heels? Riot on the floor. Reviews of Theresa May’s fancy footwear: around the world in 80 seconds. Recognition of her political panache? Only took about 13 years…
  8. But what a woman can ‘get away with’ here won’t get her very far in many other places. What’s acceptable for men here is generally acceptable around the world. In most societies, menswear is homogenous. A suit is a suit is a suit. Jeans? Standard. Short-sleeved t-shirts in hot weather? No objection. But these are freedoms not afforded to many women in stricter – some may say oppressive – countries with stringent laws on womenswear. And if you’re planning on visiting them, you had better be prepared to dress in the dark ages.
  9. Why? Because women are ‘role models’, ‘mother figures’ and, in short, the moral strongholds of society. No pressure. So string vests and boxer bums are apparently acceptable. But don a cropped tee or a sheer blouse and you’re tempting men and exposing children to ‘immodesty’. But I really think we ought to give guys more credit here. Last time I checked, they were generally capable of controlling themselves.
  10. Waxing. Need I say more?