Looking back on my visit to Hartwell House, it is pointless even trying to pass off our eating extravaganza asanything other than pure, unadulterated greed.

I could try to explain it away as a reflection of my overwhelming commitment to my job - but you wouldn't buy it for a second when you read how much we ate - and how often. So I'll come out now and say that on this occasion we were totally and unashamedly gluttonous. It was an orgy worthy of Hugh Heffner at a Playboy party.

Mr Greedy was, of course, in his element. The lust in his eyes when he perused the eating options was so unguarded it made me jealous, if a little unnerved. He booked in for the £15.50 high tea before he had even got his suitcase in the door, and cancelled his massage in favour of all that cake.

Cleverly, Hartwell House, a magnificent stately home standing in 90 acres of landscaped parkland, near Thame, also provides the best possible calorie-burning facilities known to man - a spa with a pool and enormous grounds, to ensure guests work up a hearty appetite. It is a winning combination.

We started off at The Buttery for a quick lunchtime snack. There was the option of the incredibly reasonable three-course lunch for £20 in the main house, but with tea and dinner already scheduled, I discovered that there is a limit to even Mr Greedy's excesses.

This was the only disappointing part of the whole dining experience at Hartwell House. The Buttery, located in The Spa, is firmly stuck in a 1980s timewarp with its rattan furniture, lounge carpet and open bar. And the menu was too fussy.

I didn't want a lamb panini with oriental veg, we wanted a good baguette or a simple salad. And the service was rubbish.You had to order for yourself at the bar, where I learned that there was actually a separate sandwich menu.

My egg and cress sandwich (on stale white bread) with a few crisps on the side tasted of absolutely nothing. A waste of £4.50 and contrary to everything else we experienced at Hartwell. However, two hours in the spa sorted me out though and I returned to find Mr Greedy's eyes glazed over with anticipation of the high tea - nominated as one of the best in the country by the Observer. We weren't disappointed.

Wafer thin cucumber and cream cheese sandwiches with the crusts removed, alongside those with salmon, ham, tomato and egg. Homemade scones, some with fruit, thick clotted cream and delicious strawberry jam. And the cakes - there was an eclair, a lemon tart, a meringue with a chocolate base and a kiwi top, a coffee opera sponge and a strawberry tart. We shared one tea between two in deference to our dinner and it was 5.30pm by the time we were done, having eaten every single morsel with relish.

But it wasn't just the food that was so wonderfully decadent. The setting really does need to be taken into account here. You can choose where to take your tea - from the library to the drawing room, and there couldn't be a more perfect setting for this particular meal. Surrounded by oil paintings of ancient nobility, shelves of books reaching to the ceiling and the kind of chintz you imagine the Queen might enjoy, the decor enhanced the meal.

Under three hours later, we were back for dinner and this time we did it properly. We dressed up, started in the bar with gin and tonics and made our menu choices in the great hall.

We were then led through to the dining room, which overlooks the grounds. My only criticism would be that it was a bit hushed - you could hear every chink of china and clunk of cutlery - resulting in a rather hushed atmosphere - so we ate quietly rather than with gusto. And the restaurant was far too hot for my liking.

That said, the food was quite delicious and Hartwell House is onto a winner with chef Daniel Richardson in the kitchens.

We had the seared sea scallops on a shallot puree, caramelised baby onions and a smoked bacon froth alongside a cream of forest mushroom soup, topped with truffle foam and sprinkled with mushroom dust, both of which slipped down without a word.

Next up was the pan-fried fillet of sea bass on dauphinoise potato with buttered spinach, girolle mushrooms and a port wine and truffle sauce and the risotto of caramelised pumpkin and squash with tempura of vegetables and a winter leaf salad. And it was all exceptional.

We chose to take cheese in the library because we could relax in there and cool down and we spent the rest of the evening chatting in front of a roaring fire with a good bottle of red. Bliss. Dinner was roughly £46 for three courses.

Breakfast was next on the list. The breakfast buffet was rather sombre and the dining room even more clinky of a morning, but the kippers more than made up for any lack of atmosphere and we then embarked on a huge walk around the grounds in a desperate attempt to shed some of the pounds we had accrued during our stay.

However, Mr Greedy and myself fully agree with Jean Kerr's famous quote: "I feel about airplanes the way I feel about diets. It seems to me that they are wonderful things for other people to go on," we had a lot of walking to do.

To make a reservation at Hartwell House call 01296 747444.