Sir – I thought I’d give you a hand by writing next month’s news for you — November 16 2012: “Voters yesterday elected someone
no one has ever heard of to control the Thames Valley Police, with the lowest turnout in UK electoral history.


Later, every single commentator said: “We told you so !” The Tories, blaming rain/sun/wind/live darts on TV, said a 14 per cent turn out was really a triumph for democracy.


The winner commented: “No one is quite sure what my powers are, the public think I’m a waste of time and the chief constable hates the whole idea, but I’ll give it a go as the pay is astonishing, and have you seen the pension plan?”
Julian Le Vay, Oxford