IMAGINE a festival which is fun, safe, friendly, lively and where the action goes on all night.

Imagine an event where some of the best bands on the planet line up to play – because they want to.

Imagine not being ripped off for tickets, hassled by heavy-handed security, hemmed in by rings of steel, and being forced to leave the site when the bands have stopped. And imagine a party free of thieving low-life, pretentious posers, rich weekend hippies and idiots who can’t handle their drink making a nuisance of themselves?

Sounds too good to be true? Pretty much. But for the past 23 years a select bunch of festival-goers have enjoyed one of the highlights of the summer just an hour away from Oxford.

Where?

Okay, I’ll let you into a secret. It’s called the Bulldog bash, it’s organised by the Hell’s Angels Motorcycle Club, and it is the best festival in Britain.

Really?

Okay, I know what you’re thinking. After years of successfully doing its own thing, this hugely enjoyable August party briefly hit the headlines for the wrong reason a couple of years ago, when festival-goer Gerard Michael Tobin was shot on his way home. But its impressive organisers have been made to pay the price for something beyond their control, which actually took place many miles from the site (actually on the M40).

But let’s be straight, there has never been any trouble on site. And while the police presence outside the site is more prominent than it used to be, the site itself is so well-run it is still cop-free. And how many other festivals can claim that? Not even the supreme ‘love-in’ that is Glastonbury can claim that. And hasn’t for years.

The fact is no one runs a festival like the Hells Angels.

They want people to have a good time, without stopping anyone else doing the same. Which is a pretty good philosophy for life in general. Gordon Brown, David Cameron et al take note!

As far as Bulldog bashes go, this was a vintage year.

Efforts by Warwickshire Police to ban the bash actually had the reverse effect, seeing a huge influx of bikers, rock lovers, ravers and party-people.

So who was there?

And they were rewarded with top notch bands – including headliners Motorhead and UFO, backed by Saxon (featuring original guitarist Graham Oliver and bassist Steve Dawson), Never the Bride, The Quails, Nico’s Academy and Tyla and the Dogs.

Of course it was the headliners who stole the show. UFO brought Friday night’s proceedings to a classic rock finale with a set which was technically brilliant, if light on recognisable tunes. They’re an interesting band UFO; Phil Mogg and the lads have been doing their thing since dinosaurs walked the earth, and while they kick butt, and have influenced the likes of Metallica, Iron Maiden and Pearl Jam, they have never had the attention, or commercial success they deserve –as evidenced by their faultlessly blistering set.

Motorhead, by contrast, are justifiably known the length and breadth of the known universe for their unholy ability to make a right old racket. And tonight saw Lemmy and the band at their very best.

Lemmy Kilmeister is not just one of Britain’s greatest musicians, he is an inspiration.

His lifetime of old school excess makes the lightweight revelling of Doherty and Winehouse look like a Brownies’ picnic.

And, here’s the thing, he looks great and sounds great. Fair it may not be, but time and all a healthy capacity to party have served Lemmy well.

“We are Motorhead and we play rock & roll” he announces to a deafening roar, as he strides on stage, before diving headlong into an hour and a half of rock, encompassing psychadelia, metal and rhythm & blues.

How good was it?

Well, nothing pricks up the hairs on the back of your neck like hearing Kilmeister growl his way through Ace of Spades, Overkill and Bomber. But even better was seeing two stunning PVC clad dancing girls breath sheets of fire from flaming torches to Killed By Death!

It was exceptional stuff, and the peak of rock showmanship.

Not only has Lemmy conquered the world, he carries on kicking it, flatly refusing to rest on his laurels, or grow boring or predictable.

And, here’s the secret Bulldog Bash element – he was clearly loving it, and didn’t want to leave, treating the adoring crowd to extra songs before walking off to a pulsating wall of feedback.

What else was going on?

It always comes as a surprise to novices to find the festival scene’s best techno arena at a biker festival. But then bikers, and the Angels in particular, have been into this since the heady day of acid house.

Decked out with skeletons and trippy UV visuals, over the three days, the dance tent featured the talents of Oxfordshire’s own Adam lab4 (with separate live and DJ sets) and DJ X; along with techno legend Chris Liberator, deck master Rodi Style, Mr Strangelove and captain Wonk (Wonky disco), and Dan Basley (Slinky).

With a homegrown, smiley DIY feel, the Bash dance tent offers a taste of that back-in-the-day vibe which ahs been lost at big commercial dance festivals like Global gathering, which took place on this very site, a mere three weeks ago.

And apart from the music?

Well it won’t surprise anyone to know that motorbikes feature heavily – with a packed programme of petrol-fuelled hedonism on the site’s own drag strip – a former RAF runway.

So there’s top fuel showing off, funnybikes, gas bikes, drag cars, stunt displays, a display of a hydrogen peroxide rocket bike – which reaches 228 mph, and a rocket car which hits 336mph – with 5,000 lbs of thrust and the equivalent of 10,000 horsepower.

Then there’s a jaw dropping custom bike exhibition, and, my personal favourite, the wall of death.

Like the Bash itself, it’s fast, sexy, traditional and breathtakingly exciting.