Mike Tindall move over, its time for someone else to laugh at England’s rugby players and Simon Carter’s the man to do it.

His hilarious one-man play Phys-Ed looks at the competitive world of Rugby Union from a completely different perspective on Monday and Tuesday at Burton Taylor Theatre. Call the box office on 01865 305305 or book online at oxfordplay house.com The Great Shark Debate takes place at Waterstones Oxford tonight at 7pm, where a panel of the Headinton shark’s creators and opponents, including Bill Heine the original owner, and Richard Dick, former High Sheriff of Oxford, will be on hand.

Bill will be signing copies of Hunting The Shark, which tells the full story of the shark in his roof, pictured above.

The irresistible comedy Holmes and Watson is at The Mill Theatre, Banbury from tomorrow. The show promises an entertaining evening of mystery, surprise and excitement as Sherlock Holmes and his long-time companion Dr Watson team up with Holmes’ landlady, Mrs Hudson, and Inspector Lestrade of Scotland Yard for a farewell tour of the British Isles.

They revisit one of Holmes’ most baffling cases – hitherto unsolved – courtesy of Cherwell Theatre Company. Call the box office on 01295 227177.

If you were away all summer and somehow missed out on seeing any Shakespeare, fear not, Twelfth Night will save your bacon on Wednesday and Thursday next week at The Theatre Chipping Norton with an all-star cast including Lucy Speed who played Natalie Evans in Eastenders.

Call the box office on 01608 642350 or go online at chippingnortontheatre.com