INCLEMENT weather encouraged a longer-than-usual gathering in our favourite Covered Market café on Tuesday morning. But as Owen, a recently retired schoolteacher and a newcomer to our brains trust pointed out, there was much in the news to keep us thinking.

Needless to say, America’s new president was in the spotlight – or rather the dock of disapproval. It had a glooming effect.

“He’s off his chump,” said retired college scout Eric who will tell you he knows madness when he sees it. A lifetime in the halls around the university had provided that. “But getting him certified when he’s surrounded by other nutcases could be difficult.”

Falklands War veteran Kevin had a “final solution” which the rest of us felt likely to make matters worse.

“But we can’t let him into Britain until he mends his ways,” he protested. “No tea at the Palace until he stops being a silly b*****!”

Eric, the TV electrician, eventually threw in his two pennyworth. He had the answer.

“Get Trump here – the sooner the better,” he suggested. “If he doesn’t crawl back under his stone after one of the Queen’s icy glares she reserves for the least desirable, I’ll be amazed. She won’t crawl like the PM. You could even bring in ‘tactful Phil’ as a support act.”

The gloom lifted.

A MORE pressing local topic came next – football, in particular the FA Cup, Oxford United’s current success and the disquiet over clubs picking under-strength teams against alleged weaker opposition. Newcastle United’s squad which fell to the Us last weekend came in for much criticism.

“It’s cheating the public,” said Owen. “The price of tickets these days deserves more than nine reserves in the line-up even if they’re all paid £100,000 a week.”

He went on to recall paying 10p to see Cardiff City.

“And you were over-charged,” threw in Eric, displaying anti-Welsh football sentiment.

My contribution was that clubs used to be fined by the Football League if they fielded under-strength teams and I wasn’t aware this rule had been abolished. (Readers please advise if you know better.)

A man at the next table identified himself as a long-suffering yet life-long United supporter, confessing that he sometimes called them Headington United in forgetful moments. He said: “But put it this way, if Middlesbrough turn out against us in the next round with 11 old men, two of ‘em in wheelchairs and a 4ft 6in goalkeeper, you won’t find me complaining.”

THERE’S a stone plaque on a wall in Bonn Square. It reads: “To honour those who seek another path in place of violence and war.”

Unfortunately too many people today want neither another path nor the honour.