FOG that had made driving to Oxford a nightmare turned the riverbank between Botley Road and Folly Bridge into a scene worthy of many a British black-and-white film from the 50s.

Dog walkers, pram pushers and cyclists emerged from the grey gloom, all hurrying without a word to somewhere more inviting. Then nothing until…

Another human shape approached, but still some yards away. It could be a woman, as indeed it proved to be – tall, slim and clearly distressed. Was this my chance to be the knight in shining armour or the trustworthy Englishman those old films invariably featured?

“Please can you help me?” she said in a distinctive Central European tone.

“Of course,” I replied (40s actor James Mason would have been impressed with my cool, reassuring reaction). “Is anything wrong?”

“Where is the nearest ladies’ room, please?” she asked, urgency influencing each word.

In an instant, the riverbank ceased to be on the lot at a film studio and my role as a hero turned into that of a signpost.

Directions to a nearby gym where help was a possibility were given. We then went our different ways.

WE all have our vision of Alice of Wonderland fame. I found mine outside the shop that bears her name in St Aldate’s.

She was nine years old, blonde-haired, pretty and smiling broadly after leaving the said shop with arms clutching gifts. Her adoring parents looked on as she sought someone to share her excitement.

Who was I to ignore her?

“Do you like the Alice stories?” I asked. Within seconds I was given a lightning-fast trailer with facial expressions and vocal tones to match. Lewis Carroll would have been delighted.

“Thank you, er….what is your name?” I asked.

“Alice,” she replied.

“My fault,” confessed her dad. “What else could a one-time student at Christ Church call his first daughter?”

Alas, no perfect end to the story; he was not a clergyman.

I HEAR the lease of the first Helen and Douglas House shop – opened more than a decade ago in the Covered Market and first called ‘No Tat’ – comes to an end in March. The charity was fortunate to be given the lease as a gift.

I hope effort will be made to retain this special shop by the trustees and management who nowadays seem to have more shops and staff than Marks & Spencer.

SELFIES are fun but I wish some people would be more caring about where they pose. On Tuesday those snappers in the chancel of St Mary’s Church in the High, using the altar as a backdrop were, in my opinion, over-stepping the line of respect.