I met J when she came into the hospice for a while in order to have some troublesome symptoms sorted out. J used to be the manager of a care home, and as I listened to her one day she told me about one of the residents, a 90-year-old lady called May. May had been blind for 10 years.

One eye was inoperable, but the surgeon believed that he could return sight to the other eye.

The problem was that May had a terrible fear of hospitals.

Her mother had gone into hospital to have her arm removed and came out without a leg.

Ever since then, not surprisingly, May had found it hard to trust the medical profession.

Oxford Mail:

J encouraged May to have the operation on her eye, pointing out all the benefits of being able to see again.

She said to her, ‘May, we’ll do this together.’ J went to hospital with her and during the procedure she held May’s hand with one hand, and supported her face with the other.

May needed to stay in hospital overnight, so J slept on a mattress beside her.

She didn’t get much sleep because May kept waking up and needed to know that J was still there!

The following day May went back to the care home and after some days the protective covering was removed from her eye.

For the first time in 10 years she could see. None of this could have happened without J’s patient, compassionate care.

The Dalai Lama has written this: “When people are overwhelmed by illness, we must give them physical relief, but it is equally important to encourage the spirit through a constant show of love and compassion. It is shameful how often we fail to see that what people desperately require is human affection.

“Deprived of human warmth and a sense of value, other forms of treatment prove less effective.

“Real care of the sick does not begin with costly procedures, but with the simple gifts of affection, love and concern.”

According to John’s Gospel, when Jesus was dying on the cross, he still found the energy to act with thoughtful compassion.

‘When Jesus saw his mother there, and the disciple whom he loved standing near by, he said to his mother, “Dear woman, here is your son,” and to the disciple, “Here is your mother.” From that time on this disciple took her into his home.’ John 19. 26-27.

Jesus knew that in all that they would face in the future, his mother and his beloved friend John, would need each other.

They would need to care for each other, and so, with Jesus’ encouragement, John invited Mary to live in his home. They were not kin, but they became as kin.

Those of us who care for others in our work need the highest professional values.

But professionalism by itself is never enough.

When I first started to work in the hospice some years ago I happened to be in at the weekend.

I passed by the door of a patient who I knew had been extremely anxious during the week.

A doctor was sitting with her, listening to her, holding her hand.

A hospice is a place where the skills of different professionals come together for the good of those who are dying and their families. But it is also a spiritual community, made up of people with all sorts of beliefs and ways of understanding the world.

It is a place where suffering is absorbed, anxiety and fear are contained and compassion is offered.