GOLF is said to be one of the few sports which can be enjoyed by the

incompetent, but it seems to be equalled by angling. The sensation of a

struggling fish at the end of the line may be electrifying, but it is a

thrill that some fishermen rarely enjoy. Calvin Coolidge, the thirtieth

American President, loved the sport, despite being bad at it. He

admitted that at his favourite haunt there were 45,000 trout he could

not catch, although he claimed to have intimidated them. Much the same

was true of the eighteenth-century scholar Thomas Birch, who hardly ever

caught a fish, despite disguising himself as a riverbank tree. His

disguise was so good that picnics were held at his feet, and it even

fooled dogs.

It is to be wondered what dedicated anglers will think of a new

product developed by Dr John Caprio, a neuro-physiologist at Louisiana

State University. During research on the brain of a catfish he found

that a combination of amino acids drove fish into a frenzy of hunger,

snapping and munching anything in range. The result has been Gotta Bite,

a superbait which when squirted into an aquarium causes fish to swallow

gravel, rocks, and even try to eat the glass. Dr Caprio's discovery has

been patented by his university, and a deal is being announced this week

with a manufacturing company. Not surprisingly it has caused dismay

among American anglers. Gotta Bite may take the frustration out of

fishing, they say, but in doing so it will also remove the pleasure.

An elegant solution may have been found 20 years ago, when the

National Ambulance Service held its angling contest at Kidderminster.

Some 200 ambulance men lined the local canal bank for five hours -- a

most enjoyable day, they said, despite not one of them having a bite. It

was only later that they learned that all the fish had been removed and

taken to other waters.