"Is this a story for a local newspaper (is it a story at all?)?
Can't switch on the TV, listen to the radio or even try to read about local or national news events without this boring rubbish being main headline news.
I can't stand football, from the overpaid idiots (£200,000 a week! for what exactly?) they should have performance related pay, £50K a YEAR with bonuses for good results, to the Lager lout supporter shouting and making a nuisance of himself staggering home from the pub with his over-priced replica shirt stretched over his huge beer gut!"