Safe as houses. Volvo safe. And from a man who owns seven Ferraris.
That was the immediate thought on Chris Evans’ new breakfast show on Radio 2 yesterday, when he replaced the legend who is Sir Terry Wogan.
What was obvious from the start was that Evans was taking no chances.
It all began with a nice hello to his safe choice of newsreader, Moira Stuart – who ticks all the correct BBC boxes – and led into a Beatles double of All You Need Is Love and Got To Get You Into My Life. Ah, so nice. So dull.
For the next two-and-a-half hours, he said lots of nice things about lots of nice people. “I told you there was nothing to worry about,” Evans whispered at one point to his listeners, perhaps partly in an attempt to reassure himself.
During the show, he revealed he really is determined to make this programme work, and so bury the enfant terrible label forever.
But perhaps that’s where it went wrong. In the past, Evans’ strength as a broadcaster had been his spontaneity, his ability to think on his feet and come up with the topical gag, the cutting reference or gentle trashing of a showbusiness subject or politician.
Yesterday, however, his tone was subdued, measured, almost as if he were subconsciously apologising for previous crimes and misdemeanours.
There is an irony in Evans turning out gentle content, even if he is still rather shouty in performance.
Wogan may have been soft-spoken, a man who woke up the nation with a gentle whisper in its ear, but his words for the next two hours were often witty, acerbic and sometimes downright cheeky.
Terry’s loyal Togs didn’t love him because he once fronted Blankety Blank, they loved him because he had 27 years of experience, spouted double entendres in his Janet and John series, poked fun at the establishment and gently ridiculed the pretentious.
Evans, on the other hand, at 43, does not have the elder statesman badge to lurk behind and of course it makes sense that he should not go back to the guerrilla radio he presented during his Radio 1 days.
But for the moment at least, he is far too afraid of his own voice. It was only when he carried out an unprepared interview with an out-of-breath bloke who blows up hot water bottles for sport that we got to hear the fun in his voice.
What Evans also has to consider is the music output. On the evidence of this first show, Terry’s selection was all-gold compared to the leaden efforts of Evans.
Where Wogan’s producers offered the best of easy listening, an eclectic range often championing the likes of Newton Faulkner or Alison Krauss and then seguing into the Stereophonics, Team Evans seems to have assumed that the breakfast show audience has a taste for cheese.
So what did Radio 2 listeners think? They were fairly supportive, according to message boards.
“I’m thoroughly enjoying it,” wrote one. “No, it’s not the same as Sir Tel’s, and yes, it is similar to his drive-time slot, but he did say he’d be keeping some stuff in and I’m glad he has ... well done, Chris, very big shoes to fill and I think you’re doing admirably.”
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