Oxford Mail

Robert Miller is a refugee from deepest darkest Devon, who claimed political asylum in Oxford after fleeing from the city of Exeter, where he had bravely flouted local conventions that Devon
should be pronounced "Deb'n", and asserted that there is a "t" in such words as bu-er, a spread traditionally used on bread, and mow-erway, a type of road.
Since arriving in Oxford he has holed up on the East Bank of the Cherwell, and now archly refers to the Cowley Road as his 'manor', to much mocking laughter.
He has tried to avoid coming to the notice of the authorities in Oxford as they might decide he is an illegal immigrant and boot him out, whereupon he would have "Reject" tattooed across his forehead
and be sent back to the South West in a cattle truck to compile fatstock prices for the Okehampton Gazette for the next 40 years.
He has had a long and dazzling number of careers in his life, including spells as a useless salaries clerk, rubbish salesman, joke admin assistant, and hopeless map digitizer (a post that he doesn't
actually know how to do or what it involves, despite spending a year doing it).
Other career highlights include spells as boss of a Colombian drugs cartel, white slaver for oil-rich Middle Eastern states and gun runner for the Republican movement fighting wicked British
Imperialism.
He has also so far successfully avoided being detained at her Majesty's Nut House for Criminally Crazed Delusional Fantasists.
He has managed to dupe his current employers, namely the Oxford Mail, into thinking that he is some kind of writer/sub-editor-type person, and is so far getting away with it. Just.

WHO should be in charge?

"This is no time for a novice" to be running the country, Gordon Brown told the Labour Party conference in Manchester this week, to much unctious fawning and applause.

Give me my share

It is probably true to say, I would grudgingly admit, that when the world's leading economists, financiers and bankers gather to discuss economic policy, mine is not usually the first name at the top of the list of people they wish to advise them.