Down the Pitt's (From Oxford Mail)

Down the Pitt's

2:26pm Monday 23rd February 2009

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INTERIOR: PLUSH HOLLYWOOD MANSION. BRAD PITT AND ANGELINA JOLIE SIT FACING EACH OTHER AT A HUGE TABLE PICKING OVER THE REMAINS OF THEIR BULGER WHEAT SALAD.

Brad: I can't believe it, Sean Penn. Don't the academy know how easy it is to play gay? Even Roger Moore can do it!

Angelina: And as for Nazi's. Get the accent and the walk right and the rest is child's play.

Brad: I know. I mean I had to age backwards. Do they have any idea how difficult that is?

Angelina: It was mostly special effects dear. That and some clever make-up.

Brad: (Agitated) Not all of it. I did my own drooling and limping. That's tough for someone as beautiful as me.

Angelina: Let's not talk about beauty. Winslett's a fat little English muffin, where as I am nothing short of perfection.

Brad:(Under his breath)It's a shame 'The Changling' wasn't.

Angelina: What did you say?

Brad: Nothing dear. I was just thinking maybe next year we could remake 'The sound of music'. Dosn't that have gay Nazis' in it?

Angelina: Musicals are old hat. We need something really unique. Something like...

Brad:...Kramer versus Kramer?

Angelina: No. Divorce is so passe.

Brad: Adolf Hitler and Eva Braun!

Angelina: Not bad. Not bad at all. But it needs a twist.

Brad: We can age backwards!

Angelina: Oh Brad, B***** off!