Return to Gender....... (From Oxford Mail)

Return to Gender.......

2:15pm Sunday 1st February 2009

• Print
• Email
• Comments(0)

Our Open Evening held a couple of weeks ago was a great success I’m told. There were demonstrations of all aspects of the group's work; lighting, costume, make-up, props and sound, plus an extract from last April's production of Ladies' Day, performed as a rehearsed reading. A video showed the memorable past performance of Noises Off, and excellent refreshments were provided. Five potential new members turned up and a great night was had by all. Wish I had been there now. Before the Open Evening swung into action, a cheque was handed over to a representative of the Royal British Legion Poppy Appeal for the sum of £500. This was donated by audience and cast members from The Accrington Pals in November. Thanks to all who gave so generously. At Tuesday's meeting we held auditions for our May production of Shelagh Stevenson's The Memory of Water. The new members collected from the Open Evening were keen to get stuck in and they will be fully involved in the new production. We also read through a potential ODN festival offering, Kill Jill, the plot explores the issues of home-owners defending themselves, and also how far should 'Reality TV' be allowed to go? Judging by the weekend TV schedules they have gone as far as they can. Good grief! Anyway rehearsals start this week in earnest for The Memory of Water. Standby by for regular updates on the progress the play. No further new alas on old Chuffer’s romance but he sent me this tale of caution about messing with older women. A mature lady gets pulled over for speeding…. Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer? Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding. Older Woman: Oh, I see. Officer: Can I see your license please? Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one. Officer: Don't have one? Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving. Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please. Older Woman: I can't do that. Officer: Why not? Older Woman: I stole this car. Officer: Stole it? Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner. Officer: You what? Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun. Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle. Older woman: Is there a problem sir? Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner. Older Woman: Murdered the owner? Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please. The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk. Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am? Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. The officer is quite stunned. Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license. The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled. Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner. Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.