AFTER all the political turmoil of the last few weeks, school holidays have now started, parliament is in recess, the sun has come out, and the Olympics are about to start.

Is it reasonable to hope that we can get some relief from the non-stop tempest of political upheavals, so we can concentrate on the important sporting events and get into silly season mode?

If so, what better than to start that season with some of the silliest and best cycling jokes?

Cyclox asked its members and Twitter followers to send us their best cycling jokes (Cyclox’s Twitter address is @cycloxoxford by the way if you want to follow us).

Clearly our social media presence needs improving as we only had one contribution, and that one proved to be a bit too risqué, so to avoid offence we have not included it.

But there are some very funny (and non-risqué) jokes around, and here are our 18 favourites to entertain you, starting with the mandatory elephant joke.

* Why can’t an elephant ride a bicycle? Because it doesn’t have a thumb to ring the bell.

* What do you call a bike built by a chemist? Bike-carbonate of soda.

* Why can’t a bike stand on its own? Because it’s two-tyred.

Cycling – how else does a middle-aged man get to wear lycra?

* What is the cheapest bicycle that I can buy? Money-saving expert says: “A penny farthing.”

* I was crossing a road when I got knocked down by a cyclist. He said: “You got lucky.” I said: “What’s lucky about that?” He said: “I usually drive a truck.”

* What’s the hardest thing about learning to ride a bicycle? The road.

* Why is Cinderella so uncompetitive at cycling? Because she has a pumpkin for a coach.

* “I’m done with my dog. He chases anyone on a bike.” “Are you going to get rid of him?” “No I’ll confiscate his bike!”

* Did you hear about the vampire bicycle that went round biting people’s arms off? It was a vicious cycle!

* “Why did your son take his bicycle to bed with him?” “Because he didn’t want to walk in his sleep.”

* Why couldn’t the bank manager ride a bike anymore? She lost her balance.

* What did the bicycle call its dad? Pop-cycle.

* My biggest fear is that when I die my wife will sell my bicycles for what I told her they cost!

* I took lessons in bicycle riding. But I could only afford half of them. Now I can ride a unicycle.

* What is a ghost-proof bicycle? One with no spooks in it.

* Jilly knocked Mrs White down with her new bicycle in the school yard. 
“Don’t you know how to ride that yet?” “Oh yes, miss,” shouted Jilly over her shoulder. “It’s the bell I can’t work yet.”

* When is a bicycle not a bicycle? When it turns into a driveway.