Cabbages and Kings: Cooking up a money-spinner

ON THE day the county council voted on those much-publicised cuts, a long-retired chef I know, who claims to have cooked for princes and bishops, said he could solve the cash problems.

“If coppers watched from the top of buildings around Bonn Square they could signal to others below, waiting in plain clothes, to clobber those smokers who tossed their dog ends on the ground,” he said. On a daily basis, they would make a fortune.

We were in that square. Certainly it was littered with scores of cigarette ends. With fines of £50 a time, a tidy sum could have been raised.

But I didn’t feel it was the time to discuss the cost of mass police stake outs, or the place to explain the division of county, city or police responsibilities – probably because half the time I don’t understand them.

Not wanting to pour water on his enthusiasm, I possibly gave the impression his was a good idea.

“Next time I’m passing the Town Hall I’ll pop in and tell the Lord Mayor. Go straight to the top – that’s my motto,” he boasted.

Before I could counsel caution, he folded his Oxford Mail like a well-presented omelette and headed off – in the direction of St Aldate’s.

So, Your Worship, if he did buttonhole you, then you know who to blame. Sorry!

• EARLIER that morning there had been enough electricity in the alleyway between the New Theatre and the Bella Italia Restaurant, to light George Street for a year. It was generated by youngsters willing the doors of the theatre to open.

They were some of the 151-strong cast of the New Theatre Stage Experience, ready for another day’s rehearsal for the musical Fame. It will be performed Thursday to Saturday next week.

Had I got my tickets, asked one teenage trouper? He prophesied a sell-out.

Parents of younger children waited around, some trying to confirm late afternoon collection times. But would-be stars like 11-year-old Alice from West Oxfordshire were only half-listening to what mum was saying. After all, there was a stage inside – waiting.

It was the same with eight-year-old Amarna from Headington. She preferred more classical music, but for a fortnight, pop was dish of the day, and if her keenness led to a small speaking part, well...

I sought out Diana Hackett, the theatre’s ever-cheerful press officer, who was again swept along by the excitement of this annual delight. On the evidence of the previous day’s rehearsal, were the would-be stars fired up?

She gave a telling smile. ‘Fired up’ hardly covered it.

• HERE’S a second apology. It has been suggested by several readers I don’t know my Queen Street from my Westgate Centre after I said last week that Hawkins’ Bazaar was in the former when it is undeniably in the latter. Thank you on two counts: first, for flagging my error, and secondly, for troubling to read the article – something all scribes find gratifying.

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