FOR most people, Christmas is a time of joy. It’s when families come together to share love and laughter.

Sadly, while most families are celebrating Christmas, other lives are being devastated due to domestic and sexual violence in the home. At Christmas the combination of financial pressure, free-flowing alcohol and being cooped up in closed quarters, exerts an extra burden on relationships. In an abusive relationship, this pressure is manifold.

Many victims of domestic violence dread Christmas and find it the hardest time of the year, with the violence being so much more poignant.

For those that have already taken the brave step to leave the family home they will be spending this Christmas in a refuge with their children.

What is a Refuge?

A refuge is a safe house where women and children who are experiencing domestic violence can stay free from abuse. There are some refuges that are for men fleeing abuse, but the majority are for women. The address of the refuge is kept confidential and most refuges do not accept women from their local area as this is usually where they are most at risk. Some refuges will have space for many women and children while others are only small houses. Some offer accommodation for women from a particular ethnic or cultural backgrounds.

If you need to, how do you arrange refuge accommodation?

Anyone can call the National 24-hour Domestic Violence Helpline on 0808 2000 247 and they will try to find a refuge space. Many refuges are run by Women's Aid or Refuge, who jointly run the helpline. They can either give you telephone numbers of refuges so you can call them directly, or helpline staff can try to find a vacancy for you. You can also search the Women's Aid website for services who can help you. The police will also put you in touch, as will solicitors, and other agencies such as GPs and Health Visitors and Midwives. It's not possible to book a place in a refuge in advance.

Remember that legal aid is still available for family work, subject to your financial circumstances, for advice and representation, so if you need legal advice as a result of domestic abuse, speak to a solicitor about this.

At Turpin & Miller, we have just collected some gifts for the children who are known to be spending the Christmas period in Oxfordshire and West Berkshire’s Refuges.

* Ruth Hawkins is a Family law specialist and partner with Turpin Miller