It’s around this time of year I find myself naturally attracted to hamper brochures.You know, those glossy, glamorous publications which promise page after page of corn-fed turkeys, delicious cold cuts and decidedly festive desserts, all delivered in beautiful wicker or leather-bound baskets and trunks.

Okay, so I’m talking Waitrose here. I haven’t the money to afford such yuletide treats but nothing comforts me more than whipping out my calculator and sniggering as I calculate just how much extra these supermarkets are charging for two wines and a hand-finished platter of cheeses.

Some hampers are priced at £500 to £1,000, and yes, while no-one’s denying the basket or trunk they’re delivered in may look pretty, the truth is you can buy these jumped-up lunchboxes in B&Q for about £20.

Indeed, in one brochure I drooled over, a grand got you about 15 bottles of booze, a handful of preservatives (who eats liqueur peaches anyway?), a box of cheese biscuits and some dainty chocolates.

For that kind of money I could fill a small house with icing-covered goodies and still have enough left over to add decking to my garden patio.

I’m sorry, but connoisseur chutney will never maketh a Christmas.

On a more positive note however, it’s around the middle of November I like to start digging out and dusting off my favourite ghost stories.

After all, nothing quite taps that 2am bladder like a late- night tale of banshee howls and creaking doors (please note: in our bumper festive edition of The Guide on December 15, Books Editor Andy Ffrench will be taking a look at the season’s top-10 spine chillers).

Naturally, I like A Christmas Carol (though I had to wait for The Muppets to truly bring it to life), but if I really want to engage my large intestine, I’ll read The Willows by Algernon Blackwood.

Never heard of him? Well Google his picture – he looks just like the kind of man to loiter, contentedly, at the gates of Hell.

Hallowe’en is nothing but Disneyland Paris compared to these great ghost stories you read with the lights out and the fire crackling (or gas radiator humming) between Christmas and New Year.

If you pop along to Oxford’s Central library in Westgate right now, you’ll find a great display of frighteners just inside its main lending area.

You see, while an up-market food hamper may give you genuine reason to howl out loud, a devilishly good ghost story will see to it that you only scream with delight...