Oh dear, oh dear, after months of rehearsals, publicity, production meetings and hours of set building our April production of ‘The Female of the Species’ has been cancelled.

After much soul searching by the director and cast on Tuesday night it was decided the play was no where near ready to go on and with only three weeks to go better to cancel than put a play on that would damage the group’s reputations for high quality productions. Fair enough.

Right, that’s it then. What shall we talk about now?

Went to see ‘The Blind Side’ with Sandra Bullock on Tuesday. That is to say she was in the film and I didn’t actually accompany her you understand. Good job she was in the film and looking sharp otherwise I could have lost the will to live way before half time. Not my cup of tea this offering but hey ho you can’t have everything in life can you?

Looking forward to Wednesday when a select bunch of us are ‘orf’ to the New Theatre to see ‘Stop Messing About’ yes this is the latest in my quest for deep and meaningful theatre. An incisive and comprehensive crit will appear in this very blog next week.

I was disappointed with the face-to-face I-want-to-be-the-next-Chancellor-of-the-Exchequer debate on TV last Monday. I thought it was all very tame but I guess what do you expect from a team of bean counters. Normally I think Vince Cable is worth listening to but on Monday I thought he was losing the plot a tad. Like someone said it’s easy to be a smart arse when there’s no chance of getting into power. The boy George I thought was far too nice and should have gone for Alistair Darling’s jugular, Heaven knows there is enough material of failure to throw at the man. The fact that the budget deficit was £6 billion pounds in 1997 and is now £167 billion would have been a place to start perhaps.

Before I upset any reader I can ill afford to lose I shall leave the political arena and proceed to the story of the week.

In a crowded city at a busy bus stop, a beautiful young woman wearing a tight mini skirt was waiting for a bus.

As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus.

Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver, she reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little, thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg.

She tried to take the step, only to discover that she couldn't.

So, a little more embarrassed, she once again reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little more, and for the second time attempted the step.

Once again, much to her chagrin, she could not raise her leg.

With a little smile to the driver, she again reached behind to unzip a little more and again was unable to take the step.

About this time, a large Texan who was standing behind her picked her up easily by the waist and placed her gently on the step of the bus.

She went ballistic and turned to the would-be Samaritan and yelled, "How dare you touch my body! I don't even know who you are!"

The Texan smiled and drawled, "Well, ma'am, normally I would agree with you, but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured we was friends."