Mike pens gay romance at 93 (From Oxford Mail)

Johnny, Fort Bragg, CA, USA says...
4:13am Tue 16 Oct 07

Please spare me the melodrama. Society has changed so much now? As I figure it, I came out 17 years ago, and I lost a job, a career, family and friends in the process -- all well worth losing, to be true to myself. Speaking of novel, that seems to be a novel concept for Mr. Soper. His novel must be a complete work of fiction, as how could he understand true love without constant shame? Don't present Mr. Soper as a hero. He is pathetic and pitiable. It is never easy to be the first, but generations before me who have been cowards have only left the difficult work for others. That world view needs to become extinct. There are plenty of other views of gay life besides "only thinking about sex," but Mr. Soper is lacking the credentials to speak, for me and others who haven't lived in a nice comfy cave. The rest of us have been out here, Mr. Soper, making it easier for you. Please enjoy it, but just don't write about it.

Report this post »

Johnny, Fort Bragg, CA, USA says...
4:19am Tue 16 Oct 07

Please spare me the melodrama. Society has changed so much now? As I figure it, I came out 17 years ago, and I lost a job, a career, family and friends in the process -- all well worth losing, to be true to myself. Speaking of novel, that seems to be a novel concept for Mr. Soper. His novel must be a complete work of fiction, as how could he understand true love without constant shame? Don't present Mr. Soper as a hero. He is pathetic and pitiable. It is never easy to be the first, but generations before me who have been cowards have only left the difficult work for others. That world view needs to become extinct. There are plenty of other views of gay life besides "only thinking about sex," but Mr. Soper is lacking the credentials to speak, for me and others who haven't lived in a nice comfy cave. The rest of us have been out here, Mr. Soper, making it easier for you. Please enjoy it, but just don't write about it.

Report this post »

Johnny, Fort Bragg, CA, USA says...
4:22am Tue 16 Oct 07

Please spare me the melodrama. Society has changed so much now? As I figure it, I came out 17 years ago, and I lost a job, a career, family and friends in the process -- all well worth losing, to be true to myself. Speaking of novel, that seems to be a novel concept for Mr. Soper. His novel must be a complete work of fiction, as how could he understand true love without constant shame? Don't present Mr. Soper as a hero. He is pathetic and pitiable. It is never easy to be the first, but generations before me who have been cowards have only left the difficult work for others. That world view needs to become extinct. There are plenty of other views of gay life besides "only thinking about sex," but Mr. Soper is lacking the credentials to speak, for me and others who haven't lived in a nice comfy cave. The rest of us have been out here, Mr. Soper, making it easier for you. Please enjoy it, but just don't write about it.

Report this post »

Johnny, Fort Bragg, CA, USA says...
4:25am Tue 16 Oct 07

Please spare me the melodrama. Society has changed so much now? As I figure it, I came out 17 years ago, and I lost a job, a career, family and friends in the process -- all well worth losing, to be true to myself. Speaking of novel, that seems to be a novel concept for Mr. Soper. His novel must be a complete work of fiction, as how could he understand true love without constant shame? Don't present Mr. Soper as a hero. He is pathetic and pitiable. It is never easy to be the first, but generations before me who have been cowards have only left the difficult work for others. That world view needs to become extinct. There are plenty of other views of gay life besides "only thinking about sex," but Mr. Soper is lacking the credentials to speak, for me and others who haven't lived in a nice comfy cave. The rest of us have been out here, Mr. Soper, making it easier for you. Please enjoy it, but just don't write about it.

Report this post »

Jack, Ft. Worth, TX says...
5:24am Tue 16 Oct 07

Johnny,
You are the one who is pathetic and pitiable.

Report this post »

sagit, Ohio, USA says...
6:57am Tue 16 Oct 07

Brits are quirky, Johnny-O. Ya gotta luv 'em in spite of themselves.

Report this post »

B, Oxford says...
2:24pm Tue 16 Oct 07

I say, could you kindly refrain from expressing yourselves so vehemently on a British website? We ain't entirely in favour of it, don't you know?

Report this post »

Trevor, Oxford says...
2:32pm Tue 16 Oct 07

Johnny, I am pleased to announce that we can indeed "spare you the melodrama". Stop reading or commenting on the websites of cities thousands of miles from your home, and stop being arrogant enough to think that you understand the social situations that obtain in those places. You clearly see yourself as some sort of pioneer. You come across as a complete tosser.

Report this post »

Thom Payne, Wolfville, Nova Scotia says...
6:17pm Tue 16 Oct 07

Mr. Soper sounds like a gentlemen and an inspiration. Johnny sounds like a dufus. Looking forward to the read.

Report this post »

Keith Redden-McAllister, Richmond, VA, SUA says...
8:09pm Tue 16 Oct 07

I'm at a loss how Mr. Soper could possibly be considered "pathetic and pitiful"? One thing I'm not at a loss about is knowing that we need to know our history as gay men. Mr. Soper's generation is not so unlike our's in some respects that there is not something to be learned. I understand true love, and shame really has nothing to do with it. Shame is internal and can only be brought on if a person allows it. Not that life is a cake walk, or that people may not try and "shame" someone... Whether we choose to live a life of grace or wallow is our choice. I, also, am looking forward to reading the book!

Report this post »

Gordon, San Carlos, CA says...
9:30pm Tue 16 Oct 07

To those folks who are chiding Johnny for his comments. I suggest you listen to yourselves.

I do not agree with Johnny's comments but I see in some comments a form of geographic bigotry. Is this the next frontier to be tackled?

I could argue that since the Internet was an American invention that the First Amendment applies wherever it is used. I would prefer instead for you to realise that Johnny has a right to say his piece and work through his anger and for you to consider that not everyone experiences the same level of support that Mr. Soper has in his later years.

We need to take people where they stand, not where we would like them to stand.

Report this post »

Stephen, UK says...
11:39pm Tue 16 Oct 07

Internet was invented by an english guy!!!!

Anyhooooo everyones' journey is different. People are just people.... Hatred is taught, ignorance encouraged and many wear blinkers. Human nature is both brilliant and dispicable. But the journey continues..... change can come, one action then a few then many. Like 'evolution' it can be a slow process.
He came out. That should be enough. I commend him.
I am for the freedom of speech but sometimes I wish I did not hear/read so much *$%@$.

Report this post »

Johnny-O, Fort Bragg, CA, USA says...
2:45am Wed 17 Oct 07

ad hominem attacks aside, I read your criticisms. I was amused by the egocentric comments of Trevor, when usually Americans are chided for not knowing anything about other places. What do you know of mine? Further, I note the irony of a truly great romance novel, and a British one at that - Maurice. Forster wrote it about the time Soper was born, and September 1960 "Terminal Note" on Homosexuality in Britain would be a great read for Soper, and many of you. Enjoy your fantasy worlds, but Soper still doesn't have credentials.

Report this post »

Dimitri, Vancouver, Canada says...
7:32am Wed 17 Oct 07

Put things into perspective. The man is 93 years old. Therefore he was born around 1914. Unless you can comment about gay life during that era, don't judge. A good point made earlier is that we desperately need to record his experiences. We have already lost so much gay history.

Report this post »

Michael Travis Jasper, Kansas City, MO USA says...
11:19pm Wed 17 Oct 07

I am so inspired by this man's story and bravery. He was already elderly when the gay liberation movement began. I hope he has found a new level of peace for his final years. Bravo!
Michael Travis Jasper, author of the novel "To Be Chosen"

Report this post »

Tim, Bracknell says...
7:32am Thu 18 Oct 07

I wish society had been different when Mike grew up. I wish it had been different when I grew up. Come to that I wish society had been different when Johnny grew up. Losing everything that appears to matter is not pleasant.

Too many of us have hidden all our lives. 93 years of torment is substantially more than enough.

Go, Mike, you ROCK!

Report this post »

Tim, Bracknell, UK says...
9:41am Thu 18 Oct 07

Michael Travis Jasper wrote:
I am so inspired by this man's story and bravery. He was already elderly when the gay liberation movement began. I hope he has found a new level of peace for his final years. Bravo!
Michael Travis Jasper, author of the novel "To Be Chosen"

I think in 1967 (the date of legalisation) in the UK one could not have considered him to be elderly. 53 is not exactly over the hill. I do see what you mean in a way, though.

The challenge is that upbringing sets people in their ways. If you are raised to feel you are an abnormality then you hide. Some break out of the closet sooner than others. Some never break the door down. Others peep out of the door and wonder if it's safe.

I wish it had been a non "author funded" publisher, but, at 93, one hasn't necessarily the time to chase rejection slips. I'd like to see gay romantic novels in regular bookshops, and not in the "gay Section" ghetto. In general it's hard to find the vanity press in mainstream booksellers.

Report this post »

Trevor, Oxford says...
11:21am Thu 18 Oct 07

Johnny-O, please detail where I claim to know anything of your circumstances. Clearly, I don't, and I accept that you have had a difficult struggle coming to terms with your sexuality. However, I must say that I find your "egocentric" remark particularly amusing.

Perhaps you might do Mr Soper the courtesy of reading his novel first before you dismiss it and him.

Sorry for resorting to personal remarks; perhaps in Fort Bragg (of which I know nothing) "pathetic and pitiable" is regarded as the height of polite discourse.

Gordon: you are quite correct.

Report this post »

John, Seattle USA says...
7:11am Fri 19 Oct 07

The sheer sillyness of Johnny's repeated reply suggests he's nothing more than a troll looking to raise some hell where none exists.

If I'm wrong about that, then Johnny is sadly ignorant and evidently disturbed. Either of those conditions can be easily understood as the consequences of being gay in a repressive society. One might have hoped for more generousity and compassion from Johnny, but one could hardly expect or demand it.

As for me, I am now 57 and I'll thank you not to call me elderly! But my age enables me to sympathize with Mike's thought that he was "the only one" since I thought that, too - when I was a teenager. Mercifully, for me, that was in the 60's and, soon enough, I went to San Francisco and discovered i was wrong!

I'm not an expert on Brit history, but I know there was little, if any, mercy for gays in the Britain of the 30's, 40's, 50's, 60's. So Mike's life must have been very hard indeed, even after he found the man he lived with for 40 years.

Keeping that in mind, it would not hurt anyone who's commented here - either Brit or Yank - to show a little kindness and understanding.

Johnny: your rage is also understandable, even though it is misplaced here. You might more profitably rage against the High School jocks who masked their own sexuality by passing as straight, and then joined their buddies to bully the sissy boys.

But why bother? All of us have known fear, and I'll bet that most, maybe all, of us have done things we aren't now proud of. How about you, Johnny?

Perhaps we could give all that up, and be kind to each other, instead?

With my very best regards to everyone,

John in Seattle

Report this post »

William, Oxford says...
5:31pm Fri 19 Oct 07

John wrote:
The sheer sillyness of Johnny's repeated reply suggests he's nothing more than a troll looking to raise some hell where none exists. If I'm wrong about that, then Johnny is sadly ignorant and evidently disturbed. Either of those conditions can be easily understood as the consequences of being gay in a repressive society. One might have hoped for more generousity and compassion from Johnny, but one could hardly expect or demand it. As for me, I am now 57 and I'll thank you not to call me elderly! But my age enables me to sympathize with Mike's thought that he was "the only one" since I thought that, too - when I was a teenager. Mercifully, for me, that was in the 60's and, soon enough, I went to San Francisco and discovered i was wrong! I'm not an expert on Brit history, but I know there was little, if any, mercy for gays in the Britain of the 30's, 40's, 50's, 60's. So Mike's life must have been very hard indeed, even after he found the man he lived with for 40 years. Keeping that in mind, it would not hurt anyone who's commented here - either Brit or Yank - to show a little kindness and understanding. Johnny: your rage is also understandable, even though it is misplaced here. You might more profitably rage against the High School jocks who masked their own sexuality by passing as straight, and then joined their buddies to bully the sissy boys. But why bother? All of us have known fear, and I'll bet that most, maybe all, of us have done things we aren't now proud of. How about you, Johnny? Perhaps we could give all that up, and be kind to each other, instead? With my very best regards to everyone, John in Seattle

Well said my friend i wish we had more people like you in the U.N!!!!!!!!,i often think how different people would treat each other on here if they didnt have the safety of a computer desk(joke).

Seriously be nice people.....

Report this post »

Paul Hutton, ABINGDON says...
1:31am Sun 21 Oct 07

Please would the bus companies go down to St Aldates and read their time tables. Now take them back to the office and re-write them telling us, the customers what time the buses run after the last time thay state they do run!! if that make sense then maybe we can make sense of their timetable when you are stood freezing cold at a dimly lit bus stop, heaven forbid if you are a foriegn visitor

Report this post »

William, Oxford says...
12:48pm Sun 21 Oct 07

Paul Hutton wrote:
Please would the bus companies go down to St Aldates and read their time tables. Now take them back to the office and re-write them telling us, the customers what time the buses run after the last time thay state they do run!! if that make sense then maybe we can make sense of their timetable when you are stood freezing cold at a dimly lit bus stop, heaven forbid if you are a foriegn visitor

You sir are clearly a mental case.

Report this post »

Terry Fwit, Oxford says...
10:26pm Mon 29 Oct 07

Paul Hutton wrote:
Please would the bus companies go down to St Aldates and read their time tables. Now take them back to the office and re-write them telling us, the customers what time the buses run after the last time thay state they do run!! if that make sense then maybe we can make sense of their timetable when you are stood freezing cold at a dimly lit bus stop, heaven forbid if you are a foriegn visitor

That has made me laugh out loud Paul from Abingdon.

By the way, how come so many American's found this story tucked away on the Oxford Mail website????

Report this post »

Pig Benis, Nowhere says...
12:17am Tue 30 Oct 07

Paul Hutton wrote:
Please would the bus companies go down to St Aldates and read their time tables. Now take them back to the office and re-write them telling us, the customers what time the buses run after the last time thay state they do run!! if that make sense then maybe we can make sense of their timetable when you are stood freezing cold at a dimly lit bus stop, heaven forbid if you are a foriegn visitor

Great innit? People in America can find the right page to comment on but someone from Abingdon can't!
Just sit tight Paul, the men in white coats will be round shortly; burble, burble...

Report this post »

Kat, Washington, DC says...
12:29pm Tue 30 Oct 07

Well I'm an American and I found Johnny's comments to be tedious. Criticizing the personal triumphs of a 93 old man because you feel sorry for yourself for the hardships you've endured? Please.

Report this post »

Kat, Washington, DC says...
12:36pm Tue 30 Oct 07

Gordon, Freedom of Speech means that Johny can say that he wants. It does NOT mean that people can't criticize him if they disagree.

Report this post »

Eldon S., Near Edenton, North Carolina says...
2:51pm Fri 2 Nov 07

I bought a copy of this book and loved it from start to finish. I'm 17 and a senior in high school. My family has been in this area as farmers since 1703 and it's all I've ever thought about doing. I got early acceptance and some scholarship money to the Agricultural College at UNC and want to major in animal sciences. Ithought Mr. Soper's book was fantastic and I could really relate to all the characters and the ways of farm life. I think it would be totally awesome to sit down and talk to somebody like Mr. Soper and get his insights and opinions about life. The area I live in is very conservative both politically and religiously and finding boys like me has been very difficult. I do have a special friend but we're going to different colleges. But anyway, I think this was a great book.

Report this post »

Mike Soper, Oxon says...
9:14pm Tue 6 Nov 07

I think it may be time for me to say a word. Johnny, I am really sorry you had a bad time but clearly you have no idea of what things were like in Britain for anyone in public life. How could you?

To all those who have supported me, my sincere thanks. If you do read the book, as I hope you will, I trust that some of you will enjoy it as much as Eldon (Nov 3rd) did.

Eldon, youve made my day and that alone made all the hard work seem worthwhile. I obviously cannot give you a phone number but if by detective work you did find it of course Id love to talk to you.

Report this post »

Eldon, says...
12:07am Thu 8 Nov 07

Hi Mr. Soper! Glad I was able to make your day as you said. I truly meant every word I wrote too. Thank you for the invitation for a chat but I tried and tried to find your number in the on line directories and wasn't successful. The newspaper article mentioned where you live so that's not a mystery, and I looked in Moulsford and also in Wallingford but couldn't find you. If I write to you in care of the manager of the facility where you live, perhaps that will reach you. It really would be wicked cool to talk about how things have changed.

Report this post »

Tony, Stockport U.K. says...
9:05pm Thu 8 Nov 07

I've just concluded Mike Soper'sd book and read the above comments. I'm thirty years younger than he - a mere 63 - but have to say it's only since 1997 that it's become acceptable to be gay and then only in certain circles. Bigotry still abounds. Anyone with a high public profile had to stay closeted until very recently. The 1967 Act did not alter public opinion. It only reduced the risk of prison and then in very narrow circumstances. Well done, Mr. Soper!

Report this post »

Mike Soper, Oxon., UK says...
9:13pm Mon 12 Nov 07

Eldon, yes do please write and then we can establish contact.

Report this post »

KTW, UAE says...
4:55am Thu 20 Dec 07

Okay.. Just ignoring the little comment fight going on. I think mister Soper needs to be congratulated, and I would love to read his book sometime. I think it's wonderful that men at his age can 'come out of the closet' and show people that it isn't just a phase teenagers go through or men who broke up with their wives go through. I've grown up in a situation where sexuality is cherished no matter what it is, seeing as I've lived in a supportive family, but then I see the world and realize that it's not so understanding. It's good to see that Soper is making a novel showing a side of Homosexuals that Heterosexuals don't think about.

Report this post »

Peter & Christopher, Whitstable says...
5:55pm Tue 8 Jan 08

I have just read The Heart Entrapped, which was given to us by my partners parents, for which i shall be eternaly greatful; it is a good book, and although only in my mid 50's I can empathise with Mr Soper on many issues; tho' nowadays i am chairman of a gay support/social group, editor of their newsletter, and often appear in the local paper and radio on gay issues.
As for those that don't like Mr Soper's book, either don't read 'Gay' stuff, or is your getting worked up about it, a case of 'the lady protesting too much?

Report this post »

Mike Soper, Oxfordshire says...
5:45pm Wed 9 Jan 08

Thanks,Peter. Glad you enjoyed the book. You wouldn't like to post a comment with the other two up above,Would you? It might help to get the message across that all gay life is not just Queer as Folk, but that there is much love and commitment out there. Carry on with your good work in helping people with their sexuality. Mike.

Report this post »

Tony Withers, Oxford says...
2:21pm Tue 29 Jan 08

Mike Soper was both an inspirational teacher and man at Oxford, and I am proud to have known him. I would be utterly surprised if anyone who had worked with him or was taught by him thought otherwise. That would extend to the broader farming community, which is thought of as being ultra conservative.
The fact he is gay makes precisely no difference to my attitude towards him. Well done writing the book, Mike.

Report this post »

Mike Soper, Oxfordshire says...
11:41am Thu 7 Feb 08

Thanks Tony you have done my ego a lot of good. Can you get in touch by telephone, it would be good to talk.

Report this post »

Mike, Michigan says...
2:51pm Thu 10 Apr 08

I can only commend both of tjese authors. Creative poeple are dramatic thinkers. I'd like to write a book, but don't know what about yet. I have so many different concerns about life, and the world. I believe most authors feel their work can help change opinions for the better. It seems that real change comes from these inspirations.
As a young person, I felt I was "the only one also". Life is frustrating for all at different times for different reasons. It makes no difference if we're Gay, Straight, 25, or 95. Society has come a long way. It needs to grow much further. I worked in a job for 31 years. My company closed last year. I was a lifer because I wasn't a quiter. I won't even leave Michigan to find work. I,m settled with a great life partner, and 2 great stepkids. I'm on my partners health insurance through his worldwide company. If I earn over 3,000.00, I will be booted off. More opression! by federal law!. However, If I write a bestseller, I can afford health insurance! It would sure be nice to be leagally attatched, or even married, so I could leagally contribute to the household again and pay real taxes. Then again? I've supported myself since the age of twenty! No thanks to Uncle Sam!

Report this post »

delf edwell, san francisco, california says...
8:39pm Thu 19 Jun 08

I'm 58. The other day a new coworker asked if I was gay. Raised to have good manners, this provoked me. Not because I'm gay but because this stranger felt totally comfortable asking me a stupid question. "Why do you want to know?", I asked. He smiled stirring blithely his coffee, "Because I WANT to know." Why," I asked devoid of charm, "are you asking me if I want you to give me head?" The guy, in a visable huff, stormed, "I'm reporting you to personnel for sexual harrassment." The world has changed. And it hasn't changed. Just like me.

Report this post »

Mike Soper, Oxfordshire,England says...
12:31pm Mon 23 Jun 08

Delf edwell, I'm probably stupid,but didn't quite understand the problem. Were you annoyed becausee there is still discrimination in S.F,and you were afraid to admit it in case of reprisals ? I would have thought that of all places,it would be the least likely place for that to apply. Or was it because you thought it was none of his business. ?I would have felt that, and done what you did,as there is still some risk of homophobia here, though I have to say that I have received wondrful support sine publihing The Heart Entrapped from all my friends. we went to S@F>three times,and loved the city - the most beautiful in the world, You are lucky to live there. Mike.

quote

Report this post »

Mike Soper, Oxfordshire,England says...
12:31pm Mon 23 Jun 08

Delf edwell, I'm probably stupid,but didn't quite understand the problem. Were you annoyed becausee there is still discrimination in S.F,and you were afraid to admit it in case of reprisals ? I would have thought that of all places,it would be the least likely place for that to apply. Or was it because you thought it was none of his business. ?I would have felt that, and done what you did,as there is still some risk of homophobia here, though I have to say that I have received wondrful support sine publihing The Heart Entrapped from all my friends. we went to S@F>three times,and loved the city - the most beautiful in the world, You are lucky to live there. Mike.

quote

Report this post »

HOME DELIVERY

Your Oxford

News RSS Feed