TEXAS CHAINSAW 3D (18)

Horror/Thriller/Romance. Alexandra Daddario, Tremaine 'Trey Songz' Neverson, Tania Raymonde, Keram Malicki-Sanchez, Shaun Sipos, Paul Rae, Thom Barry, Scott Eastwood, Dan Yeager, David Born, Sue Rock. Director: John Luessenhop

In 1974, director Tobe Hooper gave birth to a memorable big screen bogeyman – Leatherface – with the release of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

The film fell foul of British censors and was banned for more than 20 years.

Given the picture’s notoriety, a cult following was guaranteed.

Sequels, prequels and remakes have followed, but the original remains a classic of the horror canon.

Director John Luessenhop attempts to reinvigorate the franchise with this lacklustre and gory instalment that begins directly after the events of the original.

Sheriff Hooper (Thom Barry) races to the Sawyer farmhouse, where hulking Jed Sawyer has run amok with his beloved chainsaw.

A stand-off spirals out of control when Burt Hartman (Paul Rae) and his gun-toting posse arrive and torch the house with the family still inside.

“An eye for an eye, sheriff,” grins Burt, “you can’t get around the Good Book.”

One of the locals discovers a chainsaw in the smouldering embers and whoops “I’m hangin’ this bad boy over the bar”.

Welcome to Texas: land of sun-kissed cotton fields, in-bred psychopaths and grinning vigilantes.

Gavin Miller (David Born) and his wife Arlene (Sue Rock) steal the last surviving Sawyer baby from the farm and claim the child as their own.

Two decades later, Heather (Alexandra Daddario) inherits a mansion from a grandmother she never knew existed.

“I just want to know where I came from,” Heather tells her mother.

“Trust me – Newt, Texas, is the last place you want to be,” snarls Arlene.

Unperturbed, Heather heads to her hometown with her boyfriend Ryan (Trey Songz), best friend Nikki (Tania Raymonde) and Nikki’s current squeeze, Carl (Keram Malicki-Sanchez), in tow.

En route, they pick up a hunky hitchhiker called Darryl (Shaun Sipos), and they arrive in Newt, population 2,306, full of expectation.

Alas, the out-of-towners unwittingly stumble into a bloody battle for survival against hulking Leatherface (Dan Yeager), who lives in the basement of Heather’s new home.

Texas Chainsaw is a pointless addendum to the Leatherface mythology, while director Luessenhop makes almost no concessions to the 3D format, so if you’re compelled to watched toned midriffs spill glistening entrails, save your pennies and witness the carnage in traditional 2D.

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