With Oxford shops packed full of goodies, pester power is notching up a gear. But there are ways you can avoid overspending on your children’s presents and still have a tear-free Christmas, says Jaine Blackman

With Santa’s arrival looming, children are getting more excited – something which often translates as; putting their parents under more and more pressure to buy this year’s must-have toys and gadgets.

New research by Forever Friends shows 35 per cent of parents are worried how they’ll afford all their children’s Christmas presents this year.

Which, when you bear mind that in 2012 families spent (according to another survey by credit experts Experian) an average of £511 on gifts, is hardly surprising.

But there are ways of avoiding this financial angst, while still avoiding that dreaded look of disappointment come Christmas morning unwrapping time.

Because while parents often believe the only way to make their children happy is by spending a fortune on this year’s must-have toys, Rosemary Spillman, operations director at the parenting charity Family Lives, thinks otherwise.

“Parents can feel huge disappointment and anxiety when they can’t give their children the special thing they want for Christmas, and that doesn’t have to be about money – you might just not be able to get hold of exactly what they want.

“But there are ways around it. For example, if you can’t afford it, then get the rest of the family to chip in to pay for it. In the end, the child will get what he or she wants, even if they don’t get as many presents from others.”

Spillman says it’s also important for parents to be honest with themselves and with their children, and to be realistic about the family’s finances. “If you just can’t afford the latest toy or gadget, then tell them no,” she stresses.

She admits this may mean parents have to tell children about the harsh financial realities of life at an earlier age than they’d like, but: “Actually, that will set them in good stead. They’ll realise that you have to earn money, that there’s a lot we have to pay for, and that while mums and dads do their best, there are some things they just can’t stretch their budget to.”

Giving expensive presents to younger children is another unnecessary need for concern. The reality, says Spillman, is that children of a certain age are not bothered about how much a toy costs, and are often happier playing with the box it came in .

This is probably something everyone who’s ever seen a one-year-old unwrap a present will realise, but it can be hard to remember in the pre-Christmas madness.

“It’s hard to get off the buy, buy, buy merry-go-round - there’s such a build-up before Christmas,” Spillman says.

“We’re all subjected to massive marketing, and children tell parents that all their friends are getting this gadget or that gadget, and that’s when parents can sometimes push themselves over their budget, because they think that all of their children’s friends have got, or will be getting, that particular console or toy, and their child’s going to be the only one who’s not going to have it.”

But parents need to be wary of such claims, and how much their children might be exaggerating in order to get what they want.

“Some of this is about the relationship you have with your kids. If they are used to pestering and pestering and you giving in for a quiet life, then they’re going to keep on pushing you,” says Spillman.

Even if you manage to resist their pressure though, there is still the obstacle of managing your children’s expectations on the big day. To avoid upset on Christmas morning, parents should warn children that while Santa will probably bring some of the things on their Christmas list, they can’t expect to get everything.

“It’s not healthy for children to receive the message that they get everything they ask for, even if mum and dad do have the money. You can use Christmas to teach them some good life lessons.”

Sometimes, of course, the value of this lesson can get buried among family conflicts, like in separated families when one parent can’t afford a particular present, but the other buys it.

The bottom line here, Spillman says, is communication with other relatives, agreeing in advance that they won’t buy everybody everything.

Spillman also explains that parents who put everything on their credit card are likely to feel stressed when they try to pay it off, and that stress may well be taken out on the kids.

“Getting into debt over Christmas is not the best way to go,” she stresses.

“And even if you’ve got money, over-indulging children isn’t the best way.”