Enter the dragons. Yes: just when you thought Game of Thrones couldn’t get any more bonkers, series four flaps in with Daenerys Targaryen’s adult dragons.

That’s a sentence you didn’t think you’d read about popular telly. But there you go.

You can see the fire-breathers wiggling about in the trailers as the Scouse-browed blonde hottie Daenerys presides over them in that desert, across that Narrow Sea.

But – let’s face it – a few CGI dragons are not what this epic fantasy bloodbath are all about. As for the plot, in the seven kingdoms of Westeros and the squabbles among several better-than-soap families for what looks like the world’s least comfortable chair, I won’t issue any spoilers. Fans everywhere have had hands clamped on ears for a year or more, hoping they won’t accidently hear from that annoying loudmouth in the office (who’s read all George RR Martin’s Song of Ice and Fire books, natch) that their favourite character has been slaughtered. Life is busy, and finding the time to cram in the first three series can be tricky, much to the horror of those bores who watched them all in the first nanosecond they aired.

But, I digress. With more than 250 characters in the cast credits for one episode (no wonder life is cheap on this, the most expensive TV show ever), it doesn’t matter if you lose the plot. Shifty characters tend to offer cartoonish shifty-eyebrow gestures, and you don’t need to know names.

Sky Atlantic screened the opening episode of the fourth series at 2am on Monday, as well as its 9pm slot, to coincide with the US outing. That kind of early adopter madness doesn’t come about unless some kind of spell has been cast. And that spell was cast with a formula of the following:

* Nudity. GoT got its boobs out within a few minutes of birth. Full-on, skin-to-skin contact has ensured a die-hard army of male fans. Monday’s episode, duly, got its baps out within 10 minutes.

* Violence. Forget the fantasy label, which sometimes seems a bit unicorns-and-fairies to the suspicious outsider; Game Of Thrones is Reservoir Dogs for those with longer attention spans. The first episode features a beheading that says: “Boom! That’s what you get!” In no other series will you see a bloke’s finger chopped off in a playful after-dinner swordfight, making him laugh.

* Surprising sexy heroes. So, so many scenes set in brothels and star of them all is Tyrion Lannister – aka The Imp (the almighty Peter Dinklage). This dwarf gets all the best lines. My fave is still, when asked how he wants to die: “In my own bed, at the age of 80, with a belly full of wine and...” (The rest being unprintable in a family newspaper).

It is now FINE to admit to fancying The Imp. It is. Seriously. FINE. Monday’s show brought us his nemesis: Prince Oberyn Martell (Pedro Pascal), aka Red Viper. A sex-mad southerner with a grudge against the Lannisters: watch this space to see if he out-does the little monster Tyrion. Doubtful.

* Villains. One will stick in your throat; the punchable Joffrey. Blond, smirky, and nasty, if you don’t want to pour boiling tar into his groin within two episodes, you’re just not getting Game Of Thrones. Wanting to be violent towards him is part of the fun – even if you’re a Buddhist. Go with it.

* Romance. Seldom has a world bordered by a wilderness of winter zombies been so beautiful. It’s like the Pilgrim’s Progress, alive. The violence serves to make the poetry and romance of the drama all the more passionate. The way Drogo, the powerful warrior Dothraki horsemaster, worships his wife Daenerys is blistering. I tried to get my boyfriend to start addressing me as Moon Of My Life but it just didn’t catch on.

Maybe next time.