I greatly admired Tony Benn, who sadly died last week. He was principled and honest: a deeply moral man who not only had ideals I align with but also – and here’s what set him apart – had the courage to carry out the weight of those ideals and convictions.

But since his death, I’ve found myself naturally drawn to his wife’s story. Perhaps because I’m female and am always interested in the wife’s side of the story but also perhaps because I do harbour some weird crush on Benn that I can only attribute to his voice and forthright approach.

So I’ve read with interest about Caroline Benn’s role both as an individual for the causes she believed in and as the support centre for Benn’s work.

When she died in 2000, Benn stated that their marriage, from 1949 to her death, had been the most important personal and political relationship of his life. From the moment they met – Benn proposed to the American beauty on a bench in Oxford only nine days after their first meeting – until her death, the pair shared the same ideals, hard-work ethic and supported one another in all their endeavours.

Isn’t this the kind of union most of us aspire to? One that maintains independent achievement while also works in unison for shared goals?

While I was mourning Benn and privately saluting his dedicated commitment to both his belief system and his wife, a very good friend of mine was dumped in spectacular fashion. She was dumped by a guy who she’d been living with for over a year and who had basically (but one month earlier) promised to marry her. Then he’d gone on a trip, met somebody else and left all promises on the plane.

My friend was heartbroken, but she said something of great wisdom in between copious mouthfuls of ice cream and swigs of whisky: “Never get with somebody who doesn’t know their own mind. Never get with (hiccup) somebody who’s weak in character: they’ll leave as soon as their ego is rubbed elsewhere.” I think she stumbled upon a tiny piece of wisdom in her hour of desperation.

The whole escapade brought me back to thoughts of Tony Benn: he certainly knew his own mind. I believe the ability to “know thyself” enables people to have deep and solid relationships.

If we are very lucky, like Benn and his wife, we find a like-minded individual who is strong enough to love and support us through our toughest decisions. And not leave us searching for glimpses of wisdom in a tub of Häagen-Dazs.