Rebecca Moore says she won’t copy the woman who has married her dog in admiration of her ‘intuition’

I used to have a dog. She was – for a time – one of my best friends, especially when, at the age of 12, my actual best friend deserted me for a much cooler gang. That was until the much cooler gang egged her house and she – realising the error of her ways – came crawling back to me, covered in both metaphorical and actual egg.

Anyway, my dog was called Jess – a black and white springer spaniel who bounded after balls, belly-flopped from a springy height into dubious rivers and dykes and rolled her eyes whenever anybody said anything stupid. She was my dog and I loved her dearly.

I did not, however, despite our close bond, and seemingly mutual love, ever see fit to marry dear Jessie. Apart from anything else, we were both too young. Also, she had terrible breath which I can only blame on all that dyke water.

However, I recently saw an interview on This Morning with a woman who has married her Jack Russell. It seems that part of Amanda Rodgers’ reason for marrying Sheba is that she has always loved Jack Russells in general, believing them to be ‘intuitive’. As far as I could tell, it wasn’t necessarily anything particularly dazzling on Sheba’s part that rang those wedding bells in Rodgers’ ear: Sheba was simply picked from a litter of Jack Russell and thereafter – rather indifferently – found herself betrothed.

Sheba accompanied her wife on the show, dressed in a wedding-esque tutu and looking rather less satisfied by the whole affair. Perhaps nobody at the ceremony took the time to define in doggie terms, the meaning of ‘Happy Ever After’.

The whole ‘marriage’ is apparently platonic, since Amanda still dates human men – so long as Sheba approves of them, that is.

The fact that Sheba is female is probably a step too far – there is, after all, only so much UKIP voters can cope with.

Also, you’ve gotta feel sorry for people watching the show – one guy chimed in on Twitter that here is a dog who’s managed to find a wife and he can’t even find one girl to go out with him. He should invest in a Jack Russell – at least she’d be good for vetoing the women he does eventually come into contact with.

Oh, who am I to judge? Some lady saw a dog and – finding it ‘intuitive’ – decided to marry it. I would probably do the same if I found an intuitive man. So long as Sheba is properly cared for, (platonically) it surely doesn’t matter, does it? No. Plus, I suppose there’s now one less crazy out on the streets snapping up the good guys...