Did anyone else see Helen Mirren’s appearance at the Evening Standard Awards this week where she picked up a gong for The Audience?

I was astounded on Monday morning to see the front page of most papers and realise here is a woman touching seventy – SEVENTY! – and looking stunning and (whisper it) kinda sexy. Not in a mildly tragic, Raquel-Welch-way either, clinging desperately to something she once had in abundance. Helen looks stunning in a ‘here I am, aren’t I cool?’ kinda way.

I don’t know about you, but I do believe that Helen Mirren deserves any award, any time, for reminding women everywhere that you don’t have to be twenty-something, stick-thin and entirely smooth-skinned to be glamorous, beautiful and self-assured.

I know, I know, we’re not meant to talk about ourselves in terms of how good we look. It’s apparently against the sisterhood to pick on a woman for her appearance alone. Note to self: we are more than the sum of our looks. However, it’s fair in most cases to say that we women do care a great deal about the way we look, regardless of whether a man is standing around, waiting to deem us attractive or not.

Anyway, it’s not just her looks, is it? Mirren seems to have mastered that elusive art of being cool and glamorous all the way through. She’s like a stick of rock from St Tropez, if St Tropez made rock. Mere mortals such as myself look at Mirren and think WOW.

She’s like an awe-inspiring tree, with a good solid middle: rooted, firm, but with beautiful whispery branches that always look fabulous set against a flashbulb.

Apparently, it was a night for slightly older ladies to shine on centre-stage: Helen McCrory – Draco Malfoy’s mum in Harry Potter – was striking in a gold, shimmery, nipple-grazing gown.

However, under pictures of her online people had scrawled stuff like: TOO OLD to be wearing that dress…or: Nice dress, shame about the old face and overworked body wearing it. How bloody rude.

To my eyes, her body may be slightly on the skinny side – and yes, probably well-worked out at the gym – but she looked gorgeous, happy and confident.

So this week I raise a glass to the older women still rocking it. And hope against hope that I can grow old with half that grace, and half that glory. Not to mention their magnificent pins.

 

Ladies, remember that scene in Four Weddings and a Funeral where the heroine divulges to her hero precisely how many guys she’s slept with?

And you cringe, because you’ve had a similar conversation or because her number is significantly higher or lower than your own? Remember those good ole days when you wanted to keep your magic number quiet – either out of severe shame, or gentle embarrassment? It was a matter only for you, your closest friends, and a potential future spouse.

Well, no more. It seems that our magic numbers should now be front-page news: last week – across many a newspaper page and website - were the results of a recent competition to find the UK’s ‘horniest student’.

The requirements for winning the title are slightly unclear, but anecdotal accounts of sexual ‘conquests’ and amount of sexual partners figured quite freely.

For instance, one Exeter University student was crowned ‘horniest student’ in the UK by ‘Shag at Uni’. The competition was launched by the ‘dating’ website – a term I apply loosely – whose sole purpose is to help students meet up for sex. Now, forgive me, but I thought that’s what the Student Union, dorm rooms and shared facilities were for? If you really want to get frequently snogged at university, it’s not too much of an issue. At least so I’ve been told. Are students becoming so dependent on the web that they can’t either venture into the real world to organise sex anymore?

Worse than this – do we really need a website overtly advertising ‘shagging’ and encouraging everyone to do it? The last time I looked, people who want to sleep around are finding a way to do it and people who don’t, aren’t.

They’re not going to suddenly think ‘Hey! Here’s a website where I can do something I have no inclination to do, ever’. Well, except that’s how the web usually works – by telling you what’s interesting, by indicating what’s ‘upworthy’ and ‘cool’.

Should we be concerned that many young people are going to see this type of website and wrongly believe that the most important thing about uni is the amount of people you can sleep with there? I know many students will be smart enough, or strong enough, to resist such peer pressure. But a lot won’t be, regardless of how embarrassed they’ll be five years down the line when a potential employer whips out a picture of them smiling seductively for the camera, adorned with ‘UK’s Horniest’ crown in the middle of the most important interview of their life.

The student in question won £500 and a crate of alcohol. There was, unfortunately, no crown. She said that the alcohol would help her go out. Her mother must be so proud. Incidentally, the website shagatuni.com has a sister website, apparently for the less…erm...horny: dateatuni.com. It does have a slightly better ring to it, don’t you think?