At a small gathering of friends this week, conversation between myself and two other singletons focused on what constituted the perfect first date.

Needless to say I suggested that there was no better psychological declaration than to share a plateful of sausage with a potential partner, but the general conclusion was that the old days of first familiarisations being at the cinema have long gone, and there are a host of suitable first dates which are more fitting to the modern age.

I suppose it’s obvious, when you think on it, that sitting for two hours or more, in silence, with a person you’ve only got a couple of hours to get to know seems like a bit of a waste of valuable time, but what options are more suitable?

In days when we’re so used to data and information being so abundant, we have many more tick boxes to check and those simply can’t be assessed in the dark, watching someone else’s drama unfold.

It’s accepted that you should generally avoid going too heavy too early. No Michelin-starred restaurants or train rides to Paris, unless you’re sure that the affection is reciprocated – once you’ve set a standard, it’s difficult to change tempo.

Similarly a bad restaurant choice means you’ll spend most of your time bemoaning the service or food quality, particularly if you work within the food industry, as I do.

What’s more, going back to your favourite haunt time and again, as I often do, runs the risk of making you seem rather prolific on the dating scene.

I recall that one of my favourite dates ever involved walking through Oxford, collecting different ingredients and equipment to build a picnic fit for a king, before taking it all, along with an excited picnic partner, to Port Meadow for an afternoon picnic. A couple of bottles of wine in, and we were both adamant that we’d created the best possible dating experience.

I’d love to be able to use Nina the Narrowboat, but I should imagine there’s no better way to potentially terrify the wits out of someone who knows very little about you than to confine them to such a small space with the only escape route involving either a drenching or a leap of faith.

Further along the process, however, what better way to spend a few hours than a jaunt along the Thames, seeing the tourist spots from a perspective that very few get to enjoy. It also allows menfolk to showcase their dexterity, piloting such a huge chunk of metal through obstacles and among assorted boatfolk.

Culture is a good option – the staff at the Ashmolean must think I’m one of the most cultured people of Oxford, as I regularly head to the museum restaurant for a cream tea before assessing whether there are grounds to continue to the next steps, then head to whichever corner of the world interests them most – this week my first date and I spent a good hour in Ancient Egypt before dashing off to see what the ancient Chinese dynasties had for us. It’s not only one of Britain’s best museums, but it’s also ever-so ‘credit crunch chic’, allowing you to share something amazing without having to empty your wallet, even if it does run the risk of being a little highbrow for a first encounter.

A sound investment for any self-respecting datee has to be an annual pass for the grounds of Blenheim Palace – the most picturesque settings in the county and a host of walks around lakes and gardens which allow quality time to get to know someone. If things go well, you can always continue on to one of Woodstock’s fine eateries for mulled wine and more.

Being able to offer something different has to be a good starting point, to display that any time spent with you is a little different and exciting. Yes, it runs the risk of perhaps being a little intimidating, but it’s a good way of starting out and ensuring that you’re spending your time with the right, fun folks.

Life’s way too short to be spending your time with people who don’t excite you.

 

Not before time, Christmas officially begins this evening and it looks as though it’s going to be a fun-packed season.

I’ve got to admit that Oxford city centre needs to be congratulated, as those involved have done an amazing job. Just one glance at Oxford’s Christmas web site and you can see just how much information and how many events have been pulled together, so you can glean from just one place exactly what’s going on through the festive calendar.

I suppose this is proof, if it were needed, that oodles of stuff does actually take place in our fabulous little city, and all we need to do is throw on a warm coat and go out to explore it in order to fully benefit.

I only wish that the Christmas Lights Festival weekend went on longer than just a couple of days, as there’s just too much to see, and I know I’ll be pretty busy dealing with pesky elves and falling snow around the Castle Quarter and @SnowFactoryHQ.

You can head out any night between this evening and Christmas Day and not fail to find something interesting, so do ensure you’re making use of it, find someone to wrap in a heavy coat, hold their hand and don’t come back home until your nose is cold; that’s what I plan to do between now and Christmas.

I know I bang on about getting out and enoying all that Oxford has to offer, but I’ve never seen a time when so many interesting people are making an effort to bring a bit of excitement to Oxford, so I’d like them to be rewarded with venues jam-packed with people’s smiling faces – I know it’s the main reason for most of them making the effort.

My pick of the Friday night, seeing as you’ve asked, would be to head somewhere near the stage on St Giles for as near to 6pm as you can manage – there are going to be thousands of other people planning the same thing, but do see what progress you can make.

Then, walk through the market and the centre of Oxford, divert via the Pitt Rivers, where the interiors will be torch-lit, via the Covered Market (an integral part of every Christmas for me), en route for the Castle Quarter for around 9pm in time to see the last animation about Ed the Head Elf and enjoy the subsequent snowfall, to ensure you get the full festive feeling of the night.

Don’t get too cold today though, because there’s a massively packed programme for the whole weekend, so please do get involved and come and say Ho-Ho-Hello.