In the course of my work I get to hit the high street on a regular basis, experiment personally with the latest trends and find out about the next big thing in fashion well in advance.

But a large part of my job involves putting a price on things. That is, sizing the UK markets for various fashion categories.

Whether it’s men’s footwear, women’s jewellery or kids’ clothing, I’m responsible for summing up how much we’re all spending on fuelling our vain habits.

It probably comes as no surprise to hear that we spend an awful lot on bling and beauty.

Nothing says ‘natural’ like getting decked out like a Christmas tree with a tub of tanning lotion smeared over our bodies. However, ladies and gentlemen, there’s more to fashion than meets (and occasionally offends) the eye. One of the trends that has given a massive boost to the market is all about what lies beneath.

In June 2011, EL James wrote 500-odd pages of racy erotica.

Two years, three books and Fifty Shades later and business is booming for the lingerie industry. As a result, one of the choice questions I had the privilege of posing to my (male) manager within the first few weeks of joining Conlumino was: “What proportion of Ann Summers’ merchandise is lingerie and what percentage do you think is made up of sex toys?” That wasn’t at all awkward, although it’s a testament to his thoroughly gentlemanly character that he didn’t have an immediate answer.

Ok, so we’re all grownups. We shouldn’t get the giggles when confronted by the titillating world (excuse the pun) of boobies and knick knocks. Or perhaps the fact that I’m using the same terms for them as my two- year-old niece exposes the hopeless reality that trying to talk about sexy underwear in a completely professional manner, sans innuendo and without betraying a hint of mortification each time it’s discussed in the office, is near impossible.

Particularly when consulting my manager as to whether it’s appropriate to use the word ‘risqué’ in an official market report.

What makes it worse is, the internet knows.

When I google ‘Ann Summers’ the second result after the retailer’s website is for “lovehoney.co.uk”, the tagline boldly enquiring: “Embarrassed by sex toys?” Umm no. What gave you that idea? I’m not a prude.

Clearly, I am equally comfortable browsing both bras and bondage gear during office hours.

Believe it or not, this is all perfectly legitimate research. All of a sudden we’re splashing out insane amounts of money on thin strips of lace that barely cover our bosoms and Victoria’s Secret is expanding throughout the UK.

The spike in lingerie sales has had a remarkable impact on the industry and it’s my job as a fashion consultant to explain these changes.

I’ll tell you one thing though: If anyone from IT questions me, I’m going to have a much harder time explaining my internet history.