Most people who know me accept the fact that my taste in men can be a little... wonky.

When it comes to my top telly totty, well, there’s Chris Packham, Bob Monkhouse, that naughty drug-gobbling young ’un from Festivals, Sex and Suspicious Parents... sorry, where was I?

You name them (or simply point me at the screen when they’re on) and I’ll happily allow them to brighten up a dull evening.

Alongside a taste for the more conventional male eye candy (Shaun Evans as a young Morse in Endeavour: I’m looking at you, here), mine is a desire that does not discriminate.

On the grounds of age, background, behaviour or, indeed, financial solvency (and that’s just the ones on telly, ho ho ho.) But anyway. The good news is I’ve found a new screen squeeze who is such a good catch, such a good influence on my shambolic domestic life, that I’m offering to share him with you!

Last week, Martin Lewis swept me slightly off my feet.

Sitting, flu-ridden and grumpy, in bed, Friday primetime (8pm, ITV1) now offers a slice of sensible.

Not rock ‘n’ roll. Not inappropriate.

But rather, just what you need: The Martin Lewis Money Show in which a tiggerish Mr Lewis bounds around the country with his big hands (all the better for digging out bargains) and Saira Khan, pointing out how to clear out the crap from your home and make some extra cash.

And, whatever they’re on, I want what these two are having.

As someone whose homestead is sorely in need of a good wife (I keep asking for one but no one is providing – maybe Santa, this year, please?), my fling with Martin was most instructive.

“My rule is: if you haven’t used anything since last Christmas, why keep it?” he beseeches in his breakneck style of money-saving frenzy.

“Think of your junk as assets and behave like a retailer to flog your old stock! Fight your natural urge to hoard!”

Martin’s advice was just the kick up the festive bum I needed.

Soon, I, the ultimate slob, was bouncing around my living room with a Thatcherite glee, thinking about those extra pounds rolling in.

That old phone? Ebay! Vintage Roberts radio no longer needed? Amazon! Boxes of random baby-feeding equipment and other kit leftover from my sleep-deprived new-mother phase? The school fete!

I sat there, notebook in hand, ready to scribble down Martin’s golden nuggets of advice for getting out of debt, with a gleam in my eye.

Just like everyone else, my bank balance is distinctly battered going into Christmas and I have more piles of clutter and chaos around my house than you can shake a stick at.

Within five minutes, Martin had furnished me with the quickfire tools to save more than £250 in readies just by changing my account settings and filled me in on the best deals to hold out for, post Black Friday and cyber-Monday.

With piles of stuff destined for the car boot sale, gumtree and charity shop, at the time of going to press, I hope to make a couple of ton in a weekend. Ker-ching!

I cannot overestimate the impact Martin Lewis has made on my life already, and I’ve only seen one episode!

Maybe I’ll be a CEO by the end of the series, or at least be able to afford a wife or, failing that, a much-needed holiday.

Either way, I’ve figured out who I want under the (cut-price) mistletoe this year.

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