Jaine Blackman met Patricia Alonso as she prepared to say farewell to Oxford before heading home to Spain to look after her sick mother

It's never easy when you have an elderly or ailing parent to look after... even if they live just around the corner.

But for the past two years Patricia Alonso juggled her life in Oxford with flying to Spain every six weeks – an eight-hour journey each way – to look after her mother.

Why did she do it?

“She is my mum, that’s it,” says Patricia simply.

When pressed her eyes fill with tears: “She’s the best mother in the world. She was amazing with me and my brother when we growing up.

“She encouraged us to be free and live how we want to be. She gave us support and confidence.”

That security gave Patricia and her brother, who does not want to be named, the chance to spread their wings and travel. Her brother, the younger by six years, moved to Oxford when he was 21 and in 2006, Patricia moved here too.

“I was unhappy in Spain at the time and I wanted a new experience,” she says.

At first she found living in England difficult but as her language skills improved she found a variety of jobs: she worked as a cleaner, kitchen porter, on a till and taking food to patients at the John Radcliffe Hospital.

Two years working for Mark Rowbotham at the Oxford Mail’s Plate Room canteen was “the best thing that happened to me,” she says. “Mark taught me everything and I learned English from the best people in Oxford.”

Patricia then moved on to be a commis chef in Abingdon but, while in her latest position, her mother became ill with heart problems.

“Before that she loved to travel and visited us in Oxford lots of times. She loved walking in Christ Church Meadow, shopping, stopping for coffees, the views, the colleges... everything,” says Patricia, 39, whose parents separated when she was 14 and whose father died when her brother was 13 and she was 19.

“About two years ago she started getting weaker and weaker and she needs open heart surgery,” says Patricia.

Her mother – Margarita Ramirez, 61 – lived alone and had been on the waiting list for surgery for a year, with her health deteriorating.

By using all her holidays and taking unpaid leave (“my company really supported me”) Patricia was able to make the journey from her home in Wood Farm, Oxford, to her mother’s house in Zaragoza, northern Spain, via Stanstead Airport, every six to seven weeks.

“It was hard, especially coming back and leaving her,” says Patricia.

So, with Margarita getting weaker, Patricia made the decision a couple of weeks ago to move back to Spain permanently.

“Oxford is a place I have been really happy. I’m so lucky, I’ve met a lot of people and have a lot of friends here.

“It’s quite a cross of emotions, in some ways I’m really sad but I have to go home, she needs someone to stay with her all the time. And in some ways I am so excited, I’m looking forward to seeing my old friends,” she said before she left.

Since then, things have moved quickly. Margarita has had her operation and is hoping to be released from hospital this weekend.

“Everything went well and the doctors are really surprised – she left the intensive care unit ward 36 hours later, which apparently it doesn’t happen very often after a seven-hour operation,” says Patricia, from Spain. “She still in pain and trying hard, but doctors say it will take around three months before she will be at 100 per cent.”

Patricia will be on hand to help that recovery, providing a special diet, quiet life and rest and the future looks positive.

“We are really happy and we’re planning go to Oxford together before Christmas,” says Patricia.

“Everything went well, even with the really short notice.”

n There are more than 61,000 carers in Oxfordshire. One in 10 of us is a carer. One in seven of the working population is a care.

Carers who want to know what help is available can visit the website carersoxfordshire.org.uk or call 0845 050 7666