Marc West clears his throat for a poetry performance with a difference, with the aim of being as bad as possible

Oxford University’s professorship of poetry is one of the most illustrious positions in the world of letters – with the chair having been occupied by some of our greatest writers.

First held by Joseph Trapp in 1708, the position, second only in prestige to that of Poet Laureate, has been filled in the past by WH Auden, Seamus Heaney and Matthew Arnold. And, having attended this year’s inaugural lecture by current incumbent Simon Armitage in the glorious surroundings of the Examination Schools it’s not hard to see how such wordsmiths have been inspired by our city’s dreaming spires for over 300 years to date.

However, have you heard of a poet whose prime objective is to write as badly as they possibly can… or, a competition with the winner being the one who scores the least points possible – on purpose? Well, neither had I until encountering a renegade school who are determined to push the boundaries – in an event that would no doubt baffle their predecessors as much as it did myself.

The barking mad phenomenon of anti-slam poetry is the antithesis of all things high brow – with writing so bad it transcends quality and achieves genius... almost! It isn’t exactly Shakespeare, but then sometimes the bard wasn’t exactly spot on either. Dare I say it, but many of our most revered writers have actually let some proper shockers slip below the literary radar. So, why not take a leaf out of the history books and actually celebrate our failings.

Each slammer has just three minutes in which to impress – or should that be distress – the mob-like audience and blatantly biased judging panel, consisting of a doddery librarian, graduate upstart and aging academic. I was told to expect clanking metaphors and seam-straining rhymes.

The evening delivered on all counts – dredging the depths of the putrid underbelly of the literary world. You won’t find any turtlenecks and chin stroking among this bunch of colourful characters. They are encouraged to rip up the rule book and throw it in the air. Soundtracked by a cacophony of whoops, cries, claps and sighs, the whole affair amounts to a shambolic rumpus of poetry, but not as you know-etry... sorry!

Bringing the best of the spoken word scene to Oxford every second Tuesday of the month, Hammer & Tongue has reinvented the medium for the hip-hop generation. Next week’s slam features local lyrical heavyweights Dan Simpson and Michael J Clarke at the Old Fire Station on George Street from 8pm. Tickets are £7 from hammerandtongue.com or on the door