Marc West waits for his Equity Card to arrive in the post after clinching a cameo role as Sir Not Appearing in hit Python musical Spamalot at Oxford’s New Theatre
I’m not sure how the professionals settle their nerves, but my answer was a swift half in the nearest hostelry to the stage door.
Once I’d passed through the back entrance of the New Theatre the reality that I was about to make my West End debut (well, Oxford’s West End on George Street) really hit home.
The backstage area is a labyrinthine rabbit warren and in the countdown to show time becomes a hive of activity.
Luckily, the kindly tour manager was on hand to lead me to my dressing room – or, should I say, the laundry room.
Sadly, I’m not the star of this show – in fact, I’m actually not appearing in it at all. If that doesn’t make any sense to you whatsoever, fear not – for this performance is the brainchild of Monty Python star Eric Idle – and everything he does is…well, rather silly, I suppose.
Tony Award-winning musical Spamalot is lovingly ripped-off from the classic film comedy and features a pantomime cow, killer rabbits, French people…and on this particular (lucky) Friday the 13th, little ol’ me!
Sir Not Appearing is a cameo role previously played by the likes of Larry Lamb and Keith Lemon, so I felt in good company.
However, once Wardrobe had shoehorned me into the Don Quixote like character’s made-to-measure armour-clad costume I was seriously worried I might come to regret that pre-show ale – especially as the five-minute call echoed from the house PA system.
By the time I reached the stage I’d forgotten how many times I’d been told to “break a leg” and while watching last-minute rehearsals the star of the show Joe Pasquale called (jokingly) across to me, “Don’t muck it up, Marcy!”
All of which did little to ease my quivering hands once the curtain had swung open to a near sell-out audience.
Waiting in the wings until my big moment in the spotlight I kept repeating my part over and over in my head – surely I wouldn’t (couldn’t) forget my lines?
As I stepped forward to tread the boards it felt more like walking the plank.
SNA strides out proudly behind King Arthur before realising he’s not supposed to be there at all and following a dramatic pause makes his one word apology of “Sorry!” and exits stage right, it’s that simple (they told me).
It was only a matter of seconds (blink and you’d miss it), but it felt like forever waiting for my cue and the big laugh that followed it.
Hearing the rapturous response to my (albeit) small part was exhilarating and you can see why each and every one of the cast members genuinely love playing their roles night after night – the atmosphere is of great camaraderie and more than enough to cheer you up on the coldest of February nights.
For the second half, I took my seat in the auditorium to enjoy the final hour of this non-stop laugh-alot.
Right royal laugh: Joe Pasquale as the monarch
Backstage all was dark and vaguely hushed, but from my now viewpoint in the stalls, the set, costumes and characters truly come alive. Joe, Todd Carty (EastEnders’ Mark Fowler) and all the players are clearly having as much fun as the audience – ad-libbing and more often than not succumbing to fits of uncontrollable and highly infectious giggling right through to the closing sing-along rendition of the UK’s favourite funeral song (according to Readers Digest), Always Look on The Bright Side of Life.
The knights in tights continue their quest for the Holy Grail across the (currently united) Kingdom – galloping next to the Viking stronghold of Yorvik (that’s York, to you) and I await with bated breath for my Equity Card to arrive in the post.
* If you’ve ever wanted to see what goes on behind the red curtain, here’s your chance.
Oxford’s New Theatre tours offer an exciting way to see the historic landmark from a truly unique perspective. Like me, you can tread the boards of this prestigious venue and experience something of what your favourite performers from stage, screen and music enjoy every time they visit. Packed full of fascinating stories and in-depth history it’s a great morning soaking up the atmosphere of the city’s oldest, most revered and haunted theatre.
Tickets for Saturday, February 28, are available now from atgtickets.com priced £8.
Making a song and dance: One of Marc's co-stars
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