Tim Hughes tries out a tasty fish and chip shop in Marston

I should never have agreed, I know that now. It just seemed fun at the time – and what could possibly go wrong? After all, I’m good with kids... But for a lone bloke with a headache, agreeing to look after four hyper-excited under-10s was, with hindsight, more of a challenge than I expected.

The house was trashed, foam Nerf bullets littered every surface, all suitable DVDs watched, and a large box of Celebrations devoured. And while no one wanted to sit down to eat, I alone know that man cannot live on mini Mars and Bounty bars alone. There was nothing for it; a lads’ night out was called for – and a trip to a dining establishment ‘man’ enough to cope with a gang of four noisy boys and a lone grown-up nursing the start of a migraine.

And so we found ourselves at the Mediterranean Fish Bar. Since the closure of the chippy in Summertown some years ago, the Med, in Cherwell Drive, has become the only option for denizens of north Oxford desperate for a fix of battered fish.

“Ah, a boys night out!” one of the guys behind the counter laughed as we trooped in, a mini whirlwind of noise and chaos. He showed us to a table at the back of the shop.

As is the way with so many chippies, the portions are huge – in our case one plate of cod and chips (£7.25) feeding three. It went down very well indeed – the crispy battered fish getting multiple thumbs up.

The healthier boy insisted, bizarrely on a ham salad. Even more bizarrely they had it on the menu – though when it came, it turned out to be a ham sandwich. Communication issues resolved, it was swiftly replaced with a heaped pile of lettuce, tomato, cucumber and sliced ham (£5.40).

Though solidly a cod and chips man, I broke routine and went for a seafood platter (£6.95), which I imagined might resemble some heaped ‘plateau de fruits de mer’ – fresh crab, prawns, oysters and the like. Alas, the price should have been a giveaway – and the choice of beans or mushy peas – and I instead tucked into breadcrumbed scampi, fish bits and a few overdone onion rings served with chips. Not bad though with plenty of vinegar and mayo. The chips too were fine – or rather those that weren’t launched into the air. And, thankfully for me, they serve beer (£2.50 a bottle).

At least we had the space to ourselves. Until, that is, a pair of pensioners joined us at the next table. And to them. I apologise. For the noise, the airborne chips, the fart jokes and the cheeky songs. I hope we didn’t put you off your own fish supper.

We’ll be back; I hope the couple will too. Just not at the same time.